DS Writer's WorkTable

Five Reasons for Writing

2008-01-19T05:37:00.000+02:00

For three weeks already, I reached the end of the week, like a tired mouse. I am cranky and irritable. All I want to do is climb into bed, but i know I live for getting this done. I can't go to sleep let alone enjoy a Friday night without finishing the last book writing items.

As it was in Israel, for the last seventeen years, it was so easier to say that I was a writer when I wrote down my thoughts in my journal. A few times, I had some good moments like I was trying to get close to something; but in retrospect, I was completing venting. Now I am much more cautious when I use that word.... what word, 'oh yea, vent...'

Lately, I've had a real need to vent: I received two rejections today: one from the Post - Gazette who declined using my column "From Pittsburgh to Israel." It actually was my first crack at column writing. I was humbled by the experience but when he said that I had some interesting insights, I said well, it's his loss. Why would anyone in fact want to read an immigrant's adjustment process after living on a kibbutz for 12 years?

Then I had a rejection regarding my first children's story "One bridge, Two Hands." Like many first pieces, I was anxious to simply let it fly to the world. The result? An editor at Kar-Ben mentioned by word choice was "off" but what she really meant, was that the story was probably not holding itself together.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not holding myself together. Yesterday, was the epitome. Here I am, sitting in my three year old son's room among the puzzle pieces, lego blocks, bedding and my books, trying to create my own writing space by hopefully give my voice some sense of intent. With all that said, the timing just came out right as a faithful blogger who believes in my writing endeavors, tagged me for Reasons why I write. At 11pm yesterday, I pushed my back against the wall away from my son's kicking legs. There are those reasons that Deb mentions from G's Cottage which are way up there. I'll just add to the list that both Julia Cameron in The Right to Write and I seem to share. Okay, I admit it. It's my first tag.

1. Those lovely red marks...in eight grade... the ones that said 'very nice' or, 'good work' I was a ball of fire, I wanted to be understood. Nobody seemed to recognize what I had to say. Nobody. So I wrote awful seventeen year old stuff but that was the beginning of believing that I have something to say.

2. Writing fills a void and gives back a voice. Mom told me never to enter the arts. Perhaps she didn't want me to struggle like she did. Look, what she ended up with: no recognition, no pension, just a 24 hour caretaker for her Alzheimer's. While this doesn't mean that I am ready to make money off of it, writing is one of those outlets that come to me more naturally than understanding how a blog works.

3. Writing helps me connect to myself.
I spend hours in front of a computer screen all day. It's a luxury most mothers don't have - just to write. Like that. I'll remember the soup I drank when I was at Grandmother's house in Far Rockaway and the oily smell of her pumps in 1985. I have a very keen memory.

4. Writing gives me a sense of belonging. When I begin to realize that I claim word, I claim my space. When I read my children's story: "One Bridge, Two Hands," I suddenly felt liberated I allowed myself to write about a kibbutz. Of course, I would not have been able to start the process of claiming my words, (and sanity) if my writing mentor Sally Hobart Alexander did not encourage me to explore all the sensations. I love the line: "It's all in your head. Just get it out."

5. Writing gives me a chance to stop and realize that the flowers aren't exactly rosy, but they can be.That is the people.

I can easily lift characters off from life. Believe me. My short lived life has been too colorful. Way too colorful. {I can't believe I wake up every morning to a concrete skilled nurse facility outside my window}

I have learned from blood, sweat and tears not to do this: I set myself up for failure. There is nothing worse than thinking you have the worse life.. but I learn to embrace the people who I never could understand, had trouble accepting. I guess one can call it developing a sense of compassion.

Early Morning Marketing

2008-01-15T12:24:00.000+02:00

I accidentally turned off my Internet settings and entered a 4:30 am panic. I had to type in again all my websites that I daily use. This can actually be quite good for a writer even when trying to establish an early groove because it puts the mind on 'off' mind for a while: what isn't always visible , can be in fact done even if it means retying a website. Hopefully this won't surge my blood pressure.

I like the tone of Judy Labensohn's newsletter. With her, I always feel I'm home again. I want to start my day with writing fiction - that is my true love of writing - besides it's my passion. Early morning marketing is in fact the first contact with entering the guttiest of words. It started out with looking for a website, then accepting the fact that I am this lonely fictional creature on earth and then back to the list. Somewhere though there is a need to write. Those early messages of desire are the best ones for writing.

Moving on.... When You Really Don't

2008-01-13T15:59:00.000+02:00

It's been a week. I flew from one task to another. This week I was practicing multi-tasking my brain, sorting out which issues will finally get to the chapter AFTER I finish outlining. Enough is enough. No more thoughts that haven't been sorted out beforehand!

I also have gotten very much into the habit of recording what I have done for my book for the day. Almost everything goes into this informal type of synopsis: from the names of the books that my book would compete alongside should it be accepted for publication to what I edited.

But this can also go to the extreme: I was extremely tempted on Thursday for example, to simply edit and re-edit the first two chapters, the chapter synopsis, the book proposal, the appendix... I mean, there's no limit, right? But the real issue was that a second reviewer felt that the 2nd chapter read more like an action research... so, it looks like I might have to rehash out the second chapter's format. I mean, consistency... right?

So, instead of having a spastic attack (which I didn't) I took T's advice and started outlining a third chapter. My second reviewer's advice came in handy also for other writing projects: I wrote a 600 word column for our local newspaper about reliving the experiences of immigrant hood coming back to live in the US after 19 years in Israel, I wrote my weekly article and blog for suite 101, I wrote up a query for Lerner and I rewrote a second children's story "Daddy Still Doesn't Like Fish" after I read the first version to my critique group last Tuesday...and of course I continued to queried.

As I'm learning more, I become less afraid by the fact of what I won't succeed if I don't even try..... Good advice for anybody ...there must be a formal quote on that...

By the way, these pictures are from my son's third birthday, that we celebrated on December 31st. Nice date!

Have a great (writing) week!

New Year, New Post

2008-01-05T00:26:00.000+02:00

I walked home very carefully from the library today taking my usual route down Murray Avenue and then turned right on Hobart heading down to Wightman until I reached the corner. I was not particularly satisfied with this route so, I made a distinctive right unto Bartlett where the sunsets are visible and red at this time of day. A Jewish guy was shouting in Hebrew pointing to a synagogue next to him, the last of the blue was fading just like a warm harvest day.

Other than that, everything was pretty much dull and quiet. I ignored the Jewish guy and became lost inside myself wondering if the goals I had set out for myself a week ago are really in order...

That's what I like most about walking in the snow: you have time, time to think, make decisions, see if you can reiterate something you always wanted to say in a different way. I spend hours like that in the library with my book so that it reflects the real genuine place - my heart. Actually, it's one of the few chances I have to think together with my heart.

I'll probably have to go back and revisit some of the goals. I think the list is probably too long. But here's some of my short term goals for this month:

Book Project

1) create an outline for every paragraph I write now in chapter two. Ultimately it does help with focusing but I need to do it often to really reap the benefits from it.

2) start arranging a bibliography and incorporating final research.

3) read my writing aloud - final check for syntax and other errors

4) researching possible niches for sending out the proposal (use helpful, friendly librarians)

Notice I didn't put #4 on the first of the list. Actually, I've been focusing a lot on the writing goals as part of the process. Often (too much) speculation goes into publication and not necessarily into writing as a vocation. There is a difference!

Anyhow, keeping my eye on the snow and walking carefully. Oh and yes, do wear a hat. I keep forgetting.

Good Places to Work - Establishing a Writing Nest

2007-12-16T17:29:00.000+02:00

What good places help get you going and set the tone for your work for the day?

I'm finding it harder to find quiet places to work. As a mom, I have become fiercely dependent on the notion of 'quiet' especially on weekends.

For my non-fiction children's writing project, I will however write in a cafe. (with ear plugs)Being in an anonymous place helps me with dealing with distractions. and it's the only place I can retreat at early weekend hours.

For my book writing project on at-risk young ESL learners, the situation is much different: I need to be surrounded by books with ear plugs, otherwise I will not be focused.

With that, the weekends however are family oriented. I try to space my writing schedule around husband's work and my son. Every minute for me writing is precious and cannot be relived again. I've noticed when I am at work focused and quiet, the thoughts slowly become unstuck and I am able to develop my thoughts on paper.

I've created a small daily progress log where I write exactly what I was able to accomplish for the entire week. At the end of the week, I will retype what I've handwritten and looked at my weekly progress. This is very important for establishing an emerging writer's ego. Let me tell you!

So, what spaces work for you? Where do you feel the most productive depending on your project?? what projects are currently underway?

So, write it... maybe it will work for you and maybe it won't. Find the spot that works for you, so you can get the most amount of time writing with fewer distractions especially on the weekends. I call it establishing a writing nest.

Another Calling and Another....

2007-11-15T16:38:00.000+02:00

I have to admit: the laundry's waiting for folding and something tells me I'm about to physically collapse. But I continue to wake up at 4:00 am grabbing bites of bagels, Doritos (hey me) and funny tasting coffee just to bob around.

Reaching 11 am, I still think I have yet to make the grand hit on the pinball machine. But I'm progressing. While I have experience with fiction, I have yet to really sink my teeth in this ESL non-fiction book. I had a plan when I started - it's always changing. For the good? One can't tell, when your waking energies are grounded in the writing. I know though, that when I reach out for that coffee sip in my Walmart tumbler, I know I am coming closer to something, something that I have never come closer to before.

When I get a bit stuck, I learn to freewrite and sometimes that helps. Or I write out a step-by-step paragraph when there's even a bit of self-doubt lingering from last night's dinner conversation that I can't do this. Now I'm back to where I started from - writing about action research as part of the reflective mode of teaching and how it ultimately help with raising the reading levels of my at-risk students when I was teaching in Israel. Boring? Well, no. This is obviously chucked in for a Hollywooder approach - but I've got the patience schemata to find the right blend - me and theory - once enemies now we are growing fonder of each other - because I'm not leaning on it as a grudge as I did in my rolly-polly college days when there was oh, so much support for a writer, a teacher, and a teacher-to-be.

Now, totally exhausted, sometimes exasperated, controlled and controlling by what one calls the writing process, I am trying to stick through it. I am not one to give up, and yet every day, I awaken to the calling. There's no land around for miles, all I know there's a thick pot of coffee waiting for me(prepared by loving Hubbie)and a laptop that has been shut down for the night waiting to be turned on. Sound familiar??

Teaching, Remembering, Writing: My Own Mentor

2007-11-12T00:01:00.000+02:00

This is what my work space has become in the last few days: I've been terrible at keeping order. The concepts of 'control' and 'organization' have become a thing of the past - at least for now.

I have ten years of teachers journals, handouts and downloaded articles from in-service courses on reading. I'm in phase two - get to phase three and then 'phase out!' only i'M finding the right consistency between research and teaching experience is rather tricky. I've always puppeted my own lesson plans in front of students (and a few teachers and professionals) but writing never to an audience that I don't know, don't see, have generally no idea. I've been reliving teaching - this time all in my mind.

It's hard to find the right voice, the right kind of everything. But yet, I allow myself to continue to write in this type of vulnerability - walking soggily in the rain, no umbrella, no rain or trench coat, just a simple 'do it as if' experience - But there is that seemingly gentle voice acting as a guide, a bit of a mentor, and when the right kind of word(s) come(s), it's already time for coffee. Sound familiar?

I prefer to begin the writing by remembering the raw experience of let's say, learning to read; it will help me of course with writing about the experience of the very act of what I am teaching - this time behind the scenes of the teacher, just the observer, the lurker of my subconscious.

What exactly guided me to write those journals ten years ago? What moment was I feeling when I wrote them? What did I learn from them?

I'm so very lucky I kept these journals and even continued to write them way after the assignment for this particular course ended. There's something very theraputic about reliving them. But of course, that's another entry.

Why the Research?

2007-11-09T13:23:00.000+02:00

For the longest time, I had been avoiding researching on my topic... why you may ask? I seemed to have concocted my own vision for this book primarily based on teacher's experiences. Why not? Would you want to read my smashing experiences teaching 40 plus students with a fair share of hyper active verbal vociferous kids?All this was intensified of course, due my own acculturation: an American learning the Israeli culture?

Weeks later my advisor proved it was not a worthy step - at least not in the direction of publishing. She explicitly said: 'it will be just another handbook teachers will read...' implying that we will chuck it to the side and forget about it. What a nice thought.

She then pleasantly informed me I would be needed to do some research hinting at her previous comments. There seemed to be some other comments lurking in the background over the mobile to mobile conversation. Nope, that was it.

I'm offering myself a present since it's my birthday tomorrow. The present of the truth. I was never good at doing research: it always felt like this scary buzz word and this time when I am ankles and sometimes knees deep in the writing process, it is hard to know where the research part comes in, how to incorporate it, where to put it.

I'm my own self-editor, writer, research, teacher. But the research hat is one that is often too big, two quirky for me. I turn the other way and get lazy and pretend I don't know a damned thing.

Why research? Well, here are my notable reasons for including it in the book:

1. gives precedence and more specifically, credibility to the teaching topic at large. (in my case, at-risk learners)
2. Thinking of my own reading experiences, I get a hook into my own topic.
3. It gives a space for the topic to grow and expand.
4. It provides a more up-to-date understanding of the topic.

So with the research issues pulled aside, it's time to find apt research reading material (ie. at-risk readers, closing the literacy gaps) Truthfully, I rather spend the time writing!

Any suggestions out there? Any new ideas for tackling the research process for book writing?

Very Slow Bits of Progress

2007-11-02T22:39:00.000+02:00

It's a maturing process.. writing long manuscripts such as a college based manuscripts has become very challenging.

I just got a bit of feedback - not barely enough to understand on the mobile to Mobile conversation ... all I could hear was: 'research, not enough research.. prove to your readers that what you have done works..

Well, obviously I knew I had not put [enough] research. I had put in some, but it needed a lot of careful reshaping. Well, I guess that is why I have a mentor??
It was discouraging, but clearly, not hurtful news. I hoped to have heard something a bit more glowing. But at the end of the day, writing is not automatic and the incremental stages of progress are worthy.

Well, it was another great leap to faith. I knew the overall route, but struggling to get the words safely carried out is a great task. I find myself making inch-by-inch progress - never glowing at the end of the day, but the point is:

with regard to writing research based manuscripts that are on the long(ish) side:
1. maintain focus even if the feedback isn't what you want to hear
2. use the research from the focus point branching out extending to illustrated specific teaching related points
3. References are of course always helpful

I must say clearly I felt I had simply 'jumped in' and revised without sticking to an outline. After all, I was writing about my teaching.. why would i need an outline? Even if the subject seems crystal clear- I think I will start again writing tomorrow with an outline. it might help with some of those faith issues, even when I feel I'm sinking.

Despite this delayed feedback, which I had to seek out and not the other way around, I will continue to write. After all, mentors are to faciliate - and hopefully, the message will seep into the more earthy areas of writing and not via the self-editing critic!

Happy Friday!

Finally Finished Chapter One

2007-10-19T03:07:00.000+02:00

I didn't realize how long it would take me to finish the first chapter but it was real toil of labor. I kept on shifting the content and then the synopsis of course, and back again.

As I mentioned before, it really pays to find a way to organize all the ideas in general headings and then topic headings. I find it hard however to commit to it. It's not that I don't know what I'm writing but sometimes I connect more to the writing process than to outlining; I really despise outlining.

And then there's the market research. While playing with Ivry at the neighborhood park today in Squirrel Hill, I figured I'd get it on by thinking how to deal with the research part since many companies want to know what my competitors are. Now that I have settled both on the voice and the subject of the handbook, hopefully it will be an easier process. I'm working on the cover letter too. There is so many many things to include in a book proposal; sometimes I wish maybe I would be better off writing fiction during a sabbatical... but then, who would be my advisor??

Today Lynn and Dad called from the airport in Washington D.C. to say they were taking off back home to Israel, and that my very old childhood friend Lenny - well actually Gabi, his wife was in a terrible car crash. His wife is pregnant. Thankfully she and Jack, Lenny's father are okay. I felt utterly distracted after that. How elongated my attention span gets and then spots of it melt into words then feelings when I heard this terrible news. I wanted to do something but couldn't. I was on the phone with Jack for a vrief minute. He informed me that all is well. Hey, I'm in a library far away even from my own toilet bowl in Israel.

Sometimes I just feel I am in a bubble. But at least, this bubble is floating somewhere to somewhere...

p.s. I think I know what I am going to write about in my next short story.

Walking My Way (in the rain) to Ideas

2007-09-27T21:13:00.000+02:00

Me, as an imminent cloud, I don't often get caught in the rain, but it was a sporadic and fleeting moment walking home from the Squirrel Hill library, where I managed to 'pour' two pages and I think I've finalized what I consider as the winning touch of the topic.

I hope it works.
wish me luck

Transcribing Experiences to Paper

2007-09-26T22:14:00.000+02:00

The tip for the day is...Even if you have one day of a new experience with writing, try transcribing that experience unto paper. It will solidify your thinking, which is important for any kind of writing - be it fiction or not.

In many ways, I am creating my journey within a journey. How does one transcribe twelve years of teaching to fit a teacher's manual worth approximately 250 pages?

Sometimes I haven't the slightest idea when that blank computer screen watches me, but I'm sure that snubbing at twelve years worth of teaching experience is worth something - if anything at all in writing.

The challenge before me is how to exactly mold those rich experiences and put them into words? Or better yet, how to take that raw meaty moments of my reflections from years past and rocket them into words?

From one paragraph to another, I'm slowly crafting my journey. The key word here is: 'craft'.

And through it all, I'm amazed at how much I really do have to say. Sometimes it's not really what I wanted to say and I am pleasantly surprised at the outcome. Surprised even myself.

In light of this, I found useful the sheer technique of brainstorming (like I have done with my students years past) all that I know and all that I want to find out. It seems to prove itself a good tactic - since I know of none other right now.

But basically, it looks like I'll be using other kid tested ideas until I get my feet on solid water.

Anyhow, back to writing! Have a great writing day!

Getting into the Habit of Outlining

2007-09-25T19:36:00.000+02:00

As an inspired and emerging writer, I am on the track to refining my information or intake from the many research articles pertinent to my writing project.

Often in the morning, I'll decide to change something in my writing schedule like focus on one aspect of an article and bring only one article instead of five articles to the library. while in fact I consider this progress, I am also amazed at how much mental preparation and struggle this ultimately involves.

I'll go over my highlighted information and realize there was a point that I didn't include in my writing plan.
It pays to have a writing plan that reflects a big amount of research effort. think of all the possibilities that you can write about. Brainstorm every idea. You can always chunk away later. This habitual routine should be the basis of your writing projects both big and small.

For every chapter synopsis, I'll also have my writing plan or outline which includes the sub chapter and their corresponding texts.

This way, you won't fall over every time you read a new article and find new information.

That's my learned tip for today! Now back to planning and writing!

A Super Empowering Moment

2007-09-23T21:06:00.000+02:00

Now, back to my main question..I got carried away with emerging readers and emerging literacy and through the 'muck,' there was really one thing I was seriously interested in writing ... How do more dependent emerging readers become enabled readers. What is that BIG step they need to take and what does that BIG step include?

Well, that BIG step is exactly the step I'm talking about... only I haven't yet gotten there yet... until NOW.

I'm realizing that if I don't take this step now, I'll just be writing about something that has already been researched and written about, and that is NOT the purpose of this writing project.

Now I haven't done loads of writing and reading, but enough for me to come a bit out of the muck... JUST a bit.

I think my blog is helping me to coach myself with finding focus especially there is a plethora of information.

Anyhow, back to the chapter synopsis. Taking it one baby step at a time. Writing can be a super empowering process when one finally comes to terms about writing that which is really near and dear.

Now I can only hope I am doing the right thing! Wish me luck!

Staking my Claim

2007-09-22T22:03:00.000+02:00

As a teacher on sabbatical, I am supposed to write an 'X' number of hours each day, preferably in silence - the goal being a finished book i can proudly call my own come the end of August 2008.

I have set this journey out on my own with no co-authorship except for the facilitation of my mentor who is supervising the project.
I have set a great dream and goal for myself in writing this book starting from this inner need to write and live up to challenge. Every day I set out sticking to my systematic plan of understanding the research and reread what I wrote previously in order to 'give birth' to another chapter or part of it. There is still much I must read.

And then there's the fear, the doubt that takes me in circles in my mind, starting with: Hey, I'm just a writer like everybody else, I'm only at the beginning, which then leads to: My writing's is________, (I fill out the blank at any given moment) and finally to inner self-inflicted reaction that is enough for me to wing through more fear and doubt.

I suppose I can 'celebrate' my small progress in piecing my research with writing, finding perhaps an 'edgier' angle of writing than what I am used to.

Spraining my ankle however has shown me that progress is one small, sometimes baby step. It can take a whole day to understand what is the different between emergent readers and emergent literacy and I'm slowly learning to accept this as part of the writing process.

Part of staking my claim is with this book. How many pages do I want to write a day, who do I want to send this book to.. the list goes on. How much money do I want to make from this writing project,

So, call me fearful, scared, unsure... I know where it's coming from and it's not catharsis time here. However, I need to know I can stake my claim, no matter what I need to do. So, every time I feel a doubt or fear settle in, it's time to set off that inner dialogue and figure out what's wrong. It's an important need for writers that not only generates creativity, but progress to the next step in staking my claim.

Refining and Reworking Through the Mambo-Jumbo

2007-09-21T03:52:00.000+02:00

Am I going in circles?

I guess I would go so far as to say I made incremental progress by virtue of the fact that I went over the first section of identifying at-risk learners. But it pays to never second guess my topic. In fact, I must likely need to be an expert of what I want to say and then decide just how I am going to say it.

I realized that it pays to read more around the niches, wade through the literature and the corners of my mind, until I realize what it is I want to say as I reach the fine inner layer.

I'm pretty convinced that this will take some practice, but will get easier with time if I just accept these incremental process and see them as smaller divisions and pieces of the larger whole.

So, I will continue to do this tomorrow - revising and rewriting but I promised myself to do some research.

I'm a stubborn soul - I like to put all the cards of what I know on the table and only then, to complement them with the research. I think this tactic is a good approach - something like 'brainstorming' with my students - giving them an ego boost of what they know around a topic, in this case, my teaching experiences and dealings with at-risk learners and then to take it from there by reading the literature. I don't at all feel confounded by this plan only a bit stressed by the sudden nature of the way my mind has been working of late.

Well enough excuses. Back to writing. Anybody else with experiences of how they coped with a massive book project?
Happy Writing y'all!

At-Risk Readers - Chapter One

2007-09-19T01:39:00.000+02:00

With me, the issue isn't about finding time to write but rather what to write. I think I have found my group but I can't be sure.

Making a decision whether to write about emerging or at-risk readers are two very different leagues of teaching.

Reading through the literature, I'm finding what really speaks to me are the at-risk readers and what translates into my Israeli experience as the 'reading recovery group'. I have loads of experience on that. It is the slice of reading that never fully gets addressed in my work, so hopefully, I will work on writing this issue.

With that said, I think I made incremental progress on the first section slowly describing who is an at-risk learner and I realized there is much more for me left to read.

My plan for tomorrow is to:
1. continue reading and writing about who is an at-risk reader contextualizing it as much as possible in the EFL/ESL corresponding arenas.
2. continue to the next section of this unit.

There is so much left to be discovered about this topic. Writing is empowering and finding out more info is equally empowering!

Any reading teachers out there with specific experience teaching this particular group?

Finalizing the Chapter Synopsis

2007-09-16T22:29:00.000+02:00

Well, I'm off!

I'm been working nonstop on finalizing the chapter synopsis for my new book Teaching Emerging Learners. (I haven't yet decided if it is 'emerging learners or readers')

I am not going to reveal too much about it as I hate talking a book to its death. All I am going to say is that it has been a real process trying to find the real heart of this book.

I try and write a good 4-5 hours each day. But in order to do that, you need to have a good chapter synopsis.

Well, I've been working on mine for two months now on and off. Having a clear concise chaper synopsis is the prerequisite for any major writing project. It's best to start bit by bit or 'bird by bird' if you want to experience any real growth.

Real writing involves a search for discovery and real growth. If a writer doesn't experience this, then the process isn't real.

Since I find the process all-inspiring, I decided to start afresh with the New Year and post tidbits of my process starting with today's post. Hopefully, I'll post as frequently as possible. For all educators teaching readers or readers-to-be out there, this book is a real must have!

Wish me Luck!

Flowers and Tips From Suzanne Lieurance

2007-09-02T16:16:00.000+03:00

Going through my inbox, I came across Suzanne's tips for writers who need to advance their careers. A little bit of a 'morning nudge' won't hurt.

Now that I am slowly learning how to carve a freelance writing career as part of my sabbatical, I need any tip I can get. These four tips really spoke to me during this important time. I love the 'try it' at the end of the tip. Do you rely on any tips? How do they work for you?

Tip #1
For many people who trudge off to a regular J-O-B each work day, Monday is definitely NOT their favorite day of the week.

But, for those of us lucky enough to be able to write full time from home, Monday is an exciting day because it's the start of another work week filled with pleasant possibilities.

No matter what you do for a living, try to think of Monday that way - as the start to a week full of pleasant possibilities.

When you start your week thinking positively like that, you'll have more energy, and you'll probably notice that many good things come your way during the next 5 days.

That's because "where our attention goes, we go."

Pay attention to the positive today and see where it leads you.

Try it.

Tip #2: Step Out of Your Box Today!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every once in a while, it's fun to step out of your usual writing "box" and write something totally different from what you usually write.

Doing so strengthens your "writer's muscles."

Besides, it's just plain fun to write something totally out of your genre or area of expertise now and then.

If you're generally a serious writer, today try writing something that will make readers laugh out loud.

If you tend to write humorous essays or articles, today try writing about something from a more serious point of view.

Step out of your box today and have some fun.

Try it.

Tip #3:Make the Best Use of Your Time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As a writer, you need to make the best use of your time.

Usually, that means you need to develop at least three uses for anything you write.

For example, something you first write to post to your blog can also be used as an article for an article directory, then it can be expanded and become another article for your own ezine.

A query letter you send to one editor can be reworked and reslanted and sent to another editor, thereby proposing an article on the same topic but with a different slant and theme. This query might also give you an idea for a short blog post for the day.

When you learn to make the best use of your time as a writer, you'll also start to become more successful.

Plus, you'll have more time to enjoy other things in life besides writing.

Today, decide how you can make the best use of your time by creating three ways to use each item you write.

Go ahead.

Try it!

Tip #4: Keep a Narrow FocusWhen you're working on a large writing project like a novel, nonfiction book, or even a magazine article that requires contacting many expert sources, you can feel overwhelmed.

And when you feel overwhelmed you can have trouble getting started because you just can't seem to figure out what to do first.

The trick is to keep a narrow focus, even when working on a large project.

If you're working on a book, start by outlining it if it's nonfiction, or creating the plot if it's to be a novel.

Don't worry about the actual writing until you clearly know what you need to write.

If you're working on a magazine article, you should have already queried and gotten the go ahead from an editor to start writing it, so you know the "hook" and slant for this piece. Next, try giving it some structure. Develop subtopic headings that will not only lead the reader through the article, they will also help you, the writer, put the article together.

Keep a narrow focus on whatever it is you're trying to accomplish.

Take it "bird by bird," as Anne Lamott says, or just "paragraph by paragraph," and eventually you'll finish the entire project without feeling overwhelmed.

Try it.

A Writer of Being

2007-08-14T09:16:00.000+03:00

The last time I sat on a beach like this was in the summer of 2003, reading Chevalier's A Girl with Pearl Earring. Since then, I have become more self-conscious of how I use my time ... and words.

It is when the waves roll in and out that I feel I have the energy to pick up a pen and start writing. I've got a stroller, a bag full of baby wipes, diapers and $5.00 in dimes.

Seagulls make their way towards us but maintain their distance. Finding our groove, off the consumer belt - like all of Southern California, the thoughts do not stop. "Do we/I have enough of this?" Isolation and consumer spending versus the tense political climate in Israel.

I've been following the sea's angles but not for long. I've sidetracked myself thinking I've been to this military island just outside San Diego known as Coronado.
I'm keeping tack of the pennies, the waves, the permanently sandy bathing suit, the side shot of weather, the coolness of the oceanside.

What have I been doing all these months struggling to find the right words, the right niche of expression, the right glove that fits?

While I cannot write until I am emotionally settled I have squeezed enough travelling time into thoughts.

The sea spaces time and places yet has the lofty effect of putting them in the centerfold.Like picking up after my two boys. I sometimes leave cleaning in the hands of fate, but not when picking up actually settles me down ... maybe not enough time to write but enough time to become a writer of being.

En Route for Work - Let's Start Small

2007-08-01T08:03:00.000+03:00

Right now, in my life, I don't have two things I really need in order to soak up a writer's state of mind: peace and quiet and a heartfelt routine.

However, on a smaller scale, I have a few quite evenings to myself while vacationing at my Aunt Judy's in lovely Santa Barbara. Since we don't exactly have a routine, writing is the one thing that anchors me, especially now when the boys have gone to bed and I have the laptop to myself.

What's nice having the year off is to explore other options with writing.I've followed through with a number of education markets and after little response and no work projects, I've decided to lower the expectation level.

As much as I want to crack the educational markets, perhaps the timing isn't quite right. Maybe I need to acquire a bit more experience with more small(er) projects.

While in NYC, I got smart and sent an email to an employer I did some contracting work. It wasn't steady enough to pay the bills, but it proved to be invaluable experience, which I found through Deborah Ng jobs boards. I'm hoping to build similar contacts.

So I'm at the job boards again (not hunting). I am hoping this year will bring more contacts and experience. Thankfully, suite 101 is still steady income and the ropes of learning it prove to be quite useful. Even if it doesn't pay the bills, it's still important experience.

How often do you seek out new projects? What serious projects does your timetable allow for? What job boards do you seek?

So far I've found the following job boards quite useful:

writersweekly.com
bloggerjobs.com
writingworld.com
online-writing-jobs.com/jobbank
WAHM.com/jobs.html

Happy Writing!

Getting Back To Writing

2007-07-27T16:45:00.000+03:00

I'm back to writing my book sitting in front of a brand new laptop. It makes the work and organization so much easier. I never thought I would enjoy a laptop so much.

It's hard to write when little Ivry is in the background; the noise frequently distracts me. But I'm motivated to do my best; after all, I have the sabbatical year to see this project through.

Thursday Thirteen - Writing a Book

2007-07-12T12:15:00.000+03:00

While most teachers decide to pursue full or part time studying during their sabbatical, I've decided to pursue a full time book writing project, which was a real pain to get organized and approved by the higher powers of authority in Israel, but finally I can say...

I'm off! (and what a great feeling it is!)

And now, about the book...
I've formally started writing a teacher's resource book for raising literacy levels and closing the gaps in reading. This book writing project is what I will be doing for the next year or so, before I finish my full length sabbatical. (August 2008 -sounds miles away)

It's actually interesting writing about something I have dealt with for quite a number of years now, but from the other side as a writer and not from the receiving side, as a teacher.

So, what makes this book and the writing process of it so special and unique?

1. Literacy levels are going down. This book will help the teacher try to close the daunting and growing problem of closing the gaps in reading.
2. As a teacher, I've read countless books by teachers in the field. Now, it's my turn. It gives the me a real air of confidence that I can do it.
3. There are so many stages involved in writing a supplementary book such as this. (don't ask me about them now, I'll keep you in the loop)
4. Writing this book reflects the personal and professional journey I have been on as an ESL teacher for the last 11 years.
5. I am learning on my own, thru the process of writing, about non-fiction writing.
6. I realize that I am not without a lack of what to write. (I can easily write 200 pages)
7. I will have a mentor who will act as a guide overseeing and supervising the project.
8. I will be able to incorporate all the strategic lesson plans and ideas I have collected from over 11 years of my work.
9. This book will be a dream come true! (finally to have something I can truly be proud of and is my own)
10. I will have the honor of writing about a few success stories of students who I have seen grow and develop in their literacy skills.
11. This book hopefully will help other practicing and new teachers in the field who are facing similar problems of literacy.
12. Many people are important in influencing my own growth / learning that went into the writing of this book.

Thank you for reading and for your comments!
Happy TT!

Little Bits of Nudges

2007-07-04T13:12:00.000+03:00

I am at a period of time when I am easily distracted. There is a lot going on right now in my life even though summer vacation has just started. For some strange reason, I don't feel there was a proper closure regarding the school year and my work as an ESL teacher.

I've learned to accept these periods as learning thumps that can create big waves if I gratefuly accept the long(ish) periods of not formally writing. Inevitably I just wait when the time is right; I am not the kind of person to slack off too much for I know I'll miss writing and thinking over the computer.

My advice to all you who are in a slump for watever reason - Don't hit your head with a bat. If you are that motivated and care enough about your writing, you'll get back to it, in your own time.

Good luck !

13 Wonderful Things about Getting Published

2007-06-21T12:23:00.000+03:00

My first creative nonfiction piece "Going Home" is now up in the summer edition of "The Raving Dove." This piece was sadly inspired by last summer's second Israeli-Lebanon war. Writing this piece came naturally to me having spent over sixty days as a refugee living in other peoples' houses, in hotels, in friendly environments, but didn't have the feel of home.

I appreciate the feeling of home as i do the exhilaration of becoming a published writer. While it is still a fairly new venue for me, online literary journals seem to be most receptive to publishing new writers and thus, I found a 'home' for this particular piece having been homeless for so long.

So here is my thirteen great reasons about getting published. Although i have been published before, every time I see my name in print (and it isn't everyday) I feel alive again.

1. It raises your confidence.
2. You draw a wider audience of readers.
3. your writing slowly enters a different level.
4. people give comments
5. great to put on a resume or a list of publishing credits.
6. You don't feel so 'small' as a writer anymore.
7. You don't experience the new or green feeling as a writer starting out.
8. You are recharged with a new sense of purpose and energy.
9. You can now return to revising that short story or article.
10. You become more tolerant of the written word.
11. it lowers your anxiety level.
12. it is easier to feel more comfortable with your writing voice.
13. It's wonderful to see your name in print!

Happy Thursday Thirteen!

Feeling the Power of Your Writing

2007-06-17T21:12:00.001+03:00

I'm slowly learning that there is a direct connection between the spirituality and writing, especially the spirituality of Yemima Avital. It is through the strength of her teachings, that I am finally realizing that underneath my habits of restraint and fear, there is a waterfall of amazing energies that zap me almost magically into my inner self.

That inner self doesn't just see a writing goal and let it be. There is the actual self-realization that words bring out in writing. No, I'm not referring to goals but the inner harmony that is contagious. There is no fight in being written. Writing is a smooth process is bringing the words to the surface. But first I must lower the fear factor. Actually do things to help disperse it. Then, I'll be a shining star.

If I need to finish that book project, I know I will. If I've had a sudden concentration to find the way through the countless websites for write for hire, I'll find the right one that speaks to me. I'll make my characters come alive, I've have the 'simple audacity' to find the right meanings to harbor my words. And I won't be afraid.

Writing and setting goals takes time. I must always believe that I have the power inside to do anything I need to do in order to bring my writing to the next level.

The writing of this blog was inspired by my spiritual teacher Avital at our personal one-on-one session earlier today.

Selling Our Car

2007-06-15T10:20:00.000+03:00

Today as I was washing our car from the nasty stains from the nearby pollen trees, I thought about our car. Watching the watch wash those stains away with the power jet stream water gun, I thought how much Ivry would enjoy watching this mini movie in action. But he won't since we're selling this reliable vehicle for a dream to be fulfilled in our journey to the States.

Ivry reminds me very much of myself watching the automatic car wash in the seventies. There was a particular place my father preferred , somewhere on ninth avenue. I was particular about the jet streams from above, wondering if they would ever get me wet from inside. Not a chance.

Those stubborn stains didn't stay for very long but it was a lot of work. But I hummed, got in some 'me' time and watched the kibbutznicks do their Friday morning errands on their bikes as I watched each and every one go by from my post, unobserved. It was just the right place to be also.

Kibbutz is an action based cosmic universe. It didn't take long for people to figure out our plans when Haim and I decided to move to the States. So now I have a little privacy in the shade of washing our car. Something I probably also won't do for a while.

The car has some serious history; from the rides to and from Beit Shean and Afula while I was studying for my second degree and then from Ein-Gev and Katzrin and finally from Kibbutz Sde Nehemiya. Driving to the wedding alongside the Jordan River and then driving to our honeymoon. Bringing home Ivry from the hospital.

The epic of Sde Nehemiya was just a unexpected tale. Just when David, the local bus driver (also a kibbutznicks) came to wash his big sized van alongside mine, we got to talking about his experiences with people tracking in mud. Although I have never had that kind of unseemingly experience that only becomes a car's dirty laundry, I found myself enjoying the humble talk. One dimensional. It was David who I first met on the kibbutz who just recently got divorced and I rented his bachelor's apartment. In that same apartment, Haim and I embraced each other for the first time and we talked about a future together.

Soon, it will come time to sell this beauty that I love so much, and make room for new things in our lives. But I can't help but remember David, and how I mocked his simple mindedness. Now as life takes a more complicated turn, I embrace simplicity and the one dimensional thinking it offers.

Traditions (June Write-Away Contest)

2007-06-09T20:48:00.000+03:00

The All Time Shopping Spree by Dorit Sasson

When she was doing well back in the days when I still lived in Greenwich Village, mom loved to take me shopping, in our own little tradition. The best time was spring shopping; in came all the spring clothes from the previous year and out tossed the coats. Almost always mom ordered a new spring wardrobe for me; this ended almost always in a fight. But for every shirt I eventually did toss, my mom’s smile grew wider.

I wanted a shirt with puffed sleeves. Why? I don’t know. I remember the first Saturday of the spring months when a paycheck and a blue filled sky came all at once. We’d subway up to Times Square, walked over a good three long avenues, share a salted pretzel on the same corner stand where the trucks coughed their smoke and for fifty cents, had a snack of the day. We’d then wash down the last thick salty seeds with a coke making sure out hands were clean before running to the bargain racks at Macy’s, Gimbles and every other store in the area we could think of.

We’d attack the bargain racks comparing prices from Ralph Lauren Polo Shirts to no-name brands. I secretly hoped for a name brand on sale hoping to find the perfect spring shirt. Two hours later, I would find my search materializing in puffed sleeves with colorful lines that looked almost ridiculous. I flashed my mom’s credit card at the checkout happy for the rainbow colors. I always promised her: “I won’t go over the 100$ dollars mark.” My mom always said, “I just want you to be happy, that’s all.”

After our spree, we would slide unto a Path train where we would always find two seats away from the Saturday crowd. We would look at my purchases before heading to the Famous Ray’s pizzeria in Greenwich Village where we would munch on two cheesy slices of pizza and a coke "to-go." Of course “another slice of pizza” was always granted.

It was our special time out – my mom and I. She knew how much finding a bargain made me feel and whooped when a shirt with puffed sleeves made me happy. But we both knew that my father’s two jobs were the only reasons why I could have puffed sleeves.
“Don’t be a worry bug, just be a happy bug.” She would say in her own carefree way. “Just buy whatever you want.” It was just like her to see past my worried expressions that had become a growing part of twelve year old whose hopes of a better financial future had already been molded down with fear.

So back in 1985, she asked: “So did you find the halter dress you wanted?” Her face was all eager just ready to plunk her credit card down.

“No, they’re too small.” I had lied.

I handed her back the credit card but she was following me around the junior section like a small puppy. “How about a sundress? Or a windbreaker? A windbreaker’s always good.”
“No mom. Let’s just go home. I have everything I need.”
As much as I wanted one of those perky looking sundresses with the halter-like top, I felt time had come to bend tradition a bit. “Keep the credit card. Let’s just go for a walk.” I said leaving a surprised mom behind.

Since then, I have never been on a shopping spree with her again.

This post has been submitted to Michelle's June Write-Away contest. The theme this month is "traditions".

Taking a Break From Bureaucracy

2007-06-09T08:28:00.000+03:00

Well actually, not really a break but just a nose dive into something much more pleasurable. I had no idea that I would expending my energies so into getting this book writing project approved by the Ministry of Education so that I would be able to write full time next year. I am far from giving up only it doesn't have to be the only worthwhile thing at the moment.

For a month now I've been collecting valuable information from the Non-fiction writing for children yahoo group. The writers there give invaluable and informative links and advice. I couldn't have landed on a better group. From there, I created a profile at jacketflap.com, which has the most extensive list of children's' book packagers.

I was going to go to Tel-Aviv this past Wednesday for a SCWBI chapter meeting and see what that was all about, but at the last minute I decided that the 3.5 hour trip wasn't in my favor with my husband now working longer hours at nights.

I was so happy to stumble upon the Milk and Honey Press site (link to the right of this blog) since it appeals to readership on or about Israel. I started writing last week a small reader about kibbutz life. I hope I'm in the right direction being that I've never actually taken a course on children's' writing but I'm writing intuitively.
I figured it was about time I wrote something about kibbutz life, since I've been living on one for almost half my life.

So what writing projects are you pursuing now? How do you manage to combine writing with other difficult periods in your life?

Under the Pitango Tree

2007-06-02T09:18:00.000+03:00

We have a pomegranate tree and two Pitango trees. Up until a few years ago, I had no idea what a Pitango tree was. They are a bit smaller than cherries and their taste ranges from tart to very sweet. Unlike cherries, they hang very delicately.

My son's face was smeared with the cherry like juice. How could I not resist sitting under the Pitango tree? Ideas seem so insignificant from the lowest tier, but from underneath, there were many dark maroon pitangoes absorbing the first heat of the sun and my mind saw a huge wide world.

From experience, I know now which Pitangoes are sweeter and which reds I'll wait a day or two until they become the luscious sweetness that I prefer. But my son doesn't seem to mind which he eats. And I watch him and from then on, ideas flow naturally.

I love writing close to nature like this. Especially on a mid Saturday morning.

What about you? Where you do prefer to sit and write? Does writing alongside nature help your creativity flow and get your mind thinking?

Tips for Finding Patience

2007-05-31T05:42:00.000+03:00

When I was in New York City two summers ago visiting my mom, I picked up this book entitled The Power of Patience by M.J. Ryan - a nifty little anecdotal book on how to understand and find patience within ourselves. I guess you can say it's a self-help book for people like me, since I am not a patient person to begin with. This has been a learned skill for me all these years.

I had bought that book at a time when I was in my low (not exactly rock bottom, but low) and thought every book could provide me with answers. Not that I don't believe in self-help books, but a book can only supplement the personal journey.

After joining a spiritual workshop utilizing the late Yemima Avital method of Independent thinking, I realized that the answers were within myself and I had a lot of work to do on reconnecting the child with the adult inme. When I could put some of that baggage aside, it was easier to become my own person.

Finding patience is just a skill that writers need, it's a life long skill - (no amendments needed here for explanations.) A writer's journey is probably best waited on with patience, otherwise the trueness of a journey would be made ever that more meaningful.

Internet and email will always make a writer's search and communication quicker, faster, more efficient but it almost always passes a test of time. When we register the who and where and what of waiting for an answer, receiving feedback on a not so good piece and knowing when then to move on, we almost always need to find the patience to know the difference between learning from the experience and learning about ourselves.

In the last few months, I have entered a true test of patience that is over and swept by U.S and Israeli bureaucratic standings, help from friends about our impending move to the States, searching for job offers, which almost always pulled me into testing my own faith. I almost always end up thinking the worst possible extreme cases (i.e. my husband being rejected for an immigrant visa, to find that the tension was all in my mind)

I can only safely say that in the end, things do have their own way of working themselves out. Here are some of the things that have helped me through this not-so-easy period of time.

1. Try and see the bigger picture. Usually, the small act of waiting and thinking with anxiety puts us into one congealed moment. Realize that this is just one step to get to the final gal and there are many steps. Each step is actually a milestone.

2. Put your faith where your mouth is. While some things weren't meant to be, other things are. Don't ever loose sight of your faith.

3. Keep a small journal keeping touch with what's nagging you at the moment and why you feel you're loosing the grip, patience. This will help you keep in touch with your dreams. You'll find safety in your own words.

4. Having control is just something we just cannot control. The more I realize that the easier it is to deal with bureaucratic situations.

5. Nelson Mandela spent twenty seven years trying the test of patience in a South African jail. That says it all. He is the hero of patience.

Frankly, I have put my few self-help books aside until a later time of healing when I have found my own threshold.

What about you? Do you feel self-help books as a source of inspiration and help for your immediate daily needs? (like finding patience)

Finding Focus as a Writer

2007-05-24T21:05:00.000+03:00

Over the years, it has been easier for me to write in focus.

In writing, finding focus was a different story. My good ideas got eaten away by poor and awkward phrsing. Professors and teachers could not understand my garbled language in my term and seminar papers, [I'm ashamed by the writing of those days] and now as I reread them today, nor can I.

Prior to posting this blog entry, my mind toyed with a zillion and one ways with what would be the subject of this blog entry. [Writer's block is for wimps] After a few story books and hugs to my son, I lay beside him, my mind wandering again to a zillion different places. Since this is a blog of my journey of a writer, I wanted to keep to the spirit of different points that I'm sure all writers experience and not just me.

What do I really want to say?

Every time I feel clueless as to what brought me to thinking in the first place, I ask myself this question. It helps me narrow the possibilities. And it helped me again tonight.

I am the kind of person that I want to buy the entire candy store. In my roaring twenties, I wanted to experience everything so I did a bit of college, Israeli army, traveling, working. [It is no wonder I was born in the Year of the Dog... need to sniff around]

But now the time has come to buckle down in words and take responsibility for what it is I need (and want) to say.

And with a little faith, I am slowly getting there. The irony is that I was always there all the time only now, I am inspired by the journey and before, I was completely frustrated by how 'unfocused' was my writing.

Since my words are my bread and butter, they need to be as meaningful as life itself. And since my life now has a purpose, I am not so scared or intimidated by the journey of finding a focus. Actually, I view it as one sweet challenge.

Many writers have aided me in my journey to become a sharper clearer thinker and writer. The links are to the right of this blog under "Real Writers."

So, how far have you come as a writer in terms of finding focus? What are some of your finding focus stories? I would really love to hear some of your experiences.

A Writer's Wish - One is on its Way!

2007-05-19T16:09:00.000+03:00

In the quietness of a Shabbat late morning on our kibbutz, as I watch my son laugh in a pot of water in our garden while waving a red paintbrush over his red hair, and I am brought to write the following post....

In a little bit over a month, school will be out and my head will be in the suitcases, boxes, and getting stuff organized for our year abroad in the States.

It will be a year since I took my first online fiction writing class at Gotham. Since then, there have been many firsts of different things - my writing blog, sending writing letters including work-for-hire, sending my stories for the first time, a writing gig at Luftansa airline, a long term writing gig at suite 101 and from there, learned about the world of writing for the web.

And how could I forget those delicious acceptance letters??

In that online writing class at Gotham last summer, I shared my work for the first time. I believe that is where it all began. The passion and discipline were there even all throughout the war and my writing intructor was in awe of my determination to succeed. My determination also took me to not so comfortable areas: I learned what it takes to silence my inner editor, to not be afraid to share my work, to learn from others, to lower my frustration and writing anxiety and most of all, I began to believe in myself.

Since then I have shared numerous pieces all over the world. I even surprised (and inspired) myself and wrote an article about selling your first piece of writing.

I have done much to make writing a central part of my life. I even hired a babysitter to get extra writing time. It's hard writing with a toddler and often I had to rethink through my priorities of a given moment and be less selfish. I bit my nails, when the words didn't come and learned how to let sleep work its wonders. Sometimes the words didn't want to come, other days I knew what I wanted to say.

As I wrote in my last post, this book project that I will do during my sabbatical is a major thing. A very good thing. I am crossing my fingers. As I wait for the paperwork from my supervisor to come in through, I continue to refocus and revise the book proposal, first starting with the chapters and get it sent out.

What's comforting is that the year ahead will give me piece of mind (a bit, I hope) so that I can put writing in a central part of my life while I am getting paid. This is very reassuring!

So, when I receive a rejection, I look beyond the words. I am learning to realize that each little step is actually a milestone.

Hopefully, everything that I do and learn will get me closer to my wish (and goal) and one sweet perfect day, I can live off my writing.

How long have you come with your writing? Where are you heading? What is your writing wish?

When Writing Can Open Another Door

2007-05-16T08:04:00.000+03:00

Working in the system as a teacher is draining but lately I've found a way to make writing a more central part of my life or at least for the upcoming school year. As I may have written before, I'll be on sabbatical. I applied for a TESOL with a concentration on writing and publishing from the New School but unfortunately, they do not have enough participants.

So I looked for a supervisor for this book writing project on how to close the gap between elementary and junior high school. It is very reflective of my eleven year journey as a teacher. I am happy to announce that I did find a supervisor for this project, so there is just a bit of paperwork involved in getting it all approved. But I hope it will work out all in the end.

How do you feel and cope when you are trying to wing a potentially wonderful writing opportunity and you have yet your doubts lingering?

I hope there will be enough inner strength to help find my way.

Happy Mother's Day!

2007-05-13T06:35:00.000+03:00

I'm true to my roots and that means celebrating mother's day in Israel.

In light of some newly found energy, I 'll add to the previous neme of Real Moms.

1. they are tired and in need of a rest.That's why there is Mother's Day!
2. know their limits of giving and stop coming out with a special formula for perfectionism.
3. know when to say 'bye' to the computer, desk and 'hi' to a night out with the girls.
4. know when to to ask hubby to help due to drained energy.
5. know when to stop, indulge in gratefulness and find her own spiritual self.

Happy Mother's Day!

The Green Suitcase - Piece for The Write-Away Contest

2007-05-10T08:32:00.000+03:00

Scribbit is hosting a Write-Away Contest with the theme being summer travel. This piece came rather naturally to me, so I've decided to send it in. I guess this means I'm serious.

*********

All night long, the winds battered against the window. I try to think what it is I thought about before the hot pre-summer winds of Israel started. Ah, yes. This summer we’ll hit the creeks of Northeast USA and maybe even the sandy beaches of California and I feel cool again.

But before I know it, Momma’s voice comes through the zipper even after the winds already died down.

“Don’t forget to label the clothes.”
“He’s only two years old. No summer camp.” I say.

In goes the baby’s swimsuits alongside my old maroon jellies. And the cotton swabs. And the book on Penquins. I am a bit unsure when it come to packing, so I listen first to advice about unnecessary packing, so I put the discman aside. I limit myself one journal and a book. My mom’s advice, of course.

My movements are slow; first starting dusting the suitcase off, then slowly opening the zipper, missing the one that actually opens the suitcase. Its wheels have been eaten by walking around many airports. Its frame is a bit bent out of shape, torn in some places, stronger in the handle, however always reliable.

Taking down the suitcase from the top of the closet is like letting the memories fall again. I am not sure which memory to put in and which should stay out. But my two year old makes the final decision, a choice that overwhelms all. He sticks in the “I love New York City” T-shirt I bought for him two summers ago when traveled from Israel. It was hard trying to explain that my mom was now a grandma.It will be ten years this August since her diagnosis of Alzheimer's.

I should have known. Just when I wanted to take my little redhead and suck on popsicles near a creek in Earlton, New York where I went to sleepaway camp for so many years, I am reminded that our first stop is in fact, New York City.

Summer in New York City. I can see my son fidgeting over an ice cream popsicle while I wait for the sky to change colors after a long dirty haze and hear the factory workers across the street. Dad’s paintings stayed in the same position while mom's dusty cassettes remain hidden behind a bag of books in her closet of those days when my mom knew how fast her fingers could fly.

We’ll only be staying in New York City for a week or two, before we find our right home. But it’s enough to remind me how I longed to get out of the city as a teenager and now that I’ll coming back, I wonder how my mom looks this time around.

Many summers ago, I looked for momma in a sweltering hot Grand Central Station returning from an exciting nine weeks of summer camp. She was waving frantically. The pink swirling sunsets, the smell of jasmine and the rosy rose garden were all behind me. Momma never knew how much Kool aid I ate. My tongue was red under a blanket in the dark with an almost dead flashlight battery. Those confessions go into the suitcase too.

Rounding up the final things, I take down the file folder with all of mom’s documents and important papers of her Alzheimer’s. With the suitcase finally padlocked and closed, I know there’s one thing I’ll do right after jet lag. I’ll walk down the Hudson River Walkway with my little son’s hand in mine perhaps also with my mom.

Persistence in Creating Small Pieces, Big Visions

2007-05-06T07:20:00.000+03:00

Tesol Quarterly, Goodness Ezine and The Raving Dove have accepted my work. Art and Prose magazine has taken interested in a story as well. (see below) This is wonderful news! I took advantage of the festivities of Lag B'Omer on the kibbutz, and did the Snoopy dance with Ivry quite aways from the bonfire. (he was a bit scared)

Then this morning, after chocolate pitas, ices, warm juice, and cake, hot dogs and fun, I asked myself why these pieces were accepted. The writing was crisper and clearer. The old me rambled - I'm so embarrassed by older pieces I wrote sometimes. In addition, they answered an editorial need of the publication. For the Tesol Quarterly I wrote an abstract of a reading unit I implemented last year based on the work I did for an online in-service teacher course on strategic reading, which will later become a chapter. For The Raving Dove, I wrote a nonfiction piece sadly inspired by last summer's war in Israel and the Goodness ezine features a poem of being judgemental based on a mother-daughter relationship. Art and Prose magazine found my fictional story of an American adapting to the Israeli army very interesting for their future publication and are waiting for the post edited draft. This will be my very own first publication of a fictional piece!

In light of these small but very momentous successes, I came to thinking about the following:

1.All of these pieces evolved out of work either I had done and/or continue to do.

2.I read somewhere that it is good to send out short(er) pieces in the beginning. Last November I wrote a Nano Novel and I haven't not revised it since! I just don't have the time. With short(er) pieces, you can see the project through to its fruition.

3.I also think it is a good idea to write about all that we are especially when just starting out in the writing world. Once publishing becomes a practicality and not just a snoopy dance, it's good to combine sending work to other places like major educational publications.

I am still trying to break into the educational markets and this small scale success shows me that perhaps it's not just yet the time. But, I'm persistent and won't give up. And I believe it is bound to happen. I upgrade cover letters and resumes, I research the product, website and move on.

And I continue to let my pieces fly to the world.

Well, the day's just started here and I got to go back to that hard core writing while Ivry's at the gan!

Happy Lag B'Omer !

An Ambitious Writer: WFH Cover Letters and Your Qualifications

2007-05-04T11:06:00.000+03:00

Friday is my time to blog and write since most of my time is occupied with school and family related duties.

Heidi wrote a very informative post on writing WFH cover letters. It is very specific and to the point - very useful for someone like me who still trying to learn all that she can. I noticed that my last WFH cover letter was not specific enough and didn't get right to the point as Heidi writes. Writers need to get straight to the point, even in cover letters.

I also realized that I wrote only one WFH cover letter that was intended for those markets that needed a curriculum and lesson plan freelance writer.

I have written my own readers from simple phonetic to more complex skills for the remedial classes I teach. Over the last five years, my library has grown to include various ESL curriculum and lesson plans. I connect well to the phonetic approach of teaching. It is structured yet flexible enough to build an interactive storyline. So I spent a good part of Friday morning today expanding my repetoire of cover letter files to meet writing leveled readers and editing the last reader I wrote.

In light of the spiritual and emotional healing that I am going through, I had a good eye-to-eye talk with my inner self. A voice told me to put the semi-obnoxious and self-critical editor away in the lavender, and to believe in my abilities as a writer. After reading this morning's cover letter I wrote from the perspective of an editor, I decided I liked it. It sounded profesional. It looked good. It made me feel good. That hasn't happened with me much in the past.

Writier Dilemmas: What to Write Now or what to finish first?

2007-04-28T06:15:00.000+03:00

I have an hour before my son wakes up. This hour is precious especially on a Saturday. It is the time when I find my own inner strength and write instead of sleeping in. This morning was easy; I slided out of bed because I knew there was something waiting for me and anxiously I went to the computer.

I find the inner strength to proceed from one piece to another. This means writing, writing and editing.Last night I was working late on a YA fiction story and here I am this morning, thinking about that book proposal for Mc-Graw I need to hone and sharpen.

Part of me scramps and runs around for time. It is never enough. When I learn to think of school as being something less of an incidental event, I probably will be less anxious about trying to balance school , writing and motherhood.

Having a Writer Plan

2007-04-27T11:32:00.000+03:00

I'm the kind of writer that likes to sniff everything from children's writing to magazine writing. In the last two months or so, I've written a bit of pretty much everything including a YA adult short fiction book. Most of these pieces are now being circulated. I want to keep pieces circulating. This means cointinually writing. You just never know when an acceptance will come in.

Before we decided to move to the States, I had more time on my hands. Now I am extremely practical trying to incorporate a writer plan that involves:

1.sending resumes and cover letters for hire
2.researching potential educational publishers
3.revising and writing

Notice I also wrote writing. Even though I don't have a lot of time now on my hands (due to our impending move to the USA) I must fit in some writing time. This also involves editing. My plan is self-promotional: I upgrade my cover and resume letters, research here and there educational publishers and bravely sent them out saying a small prayer. Recently, Otter sent me links to standards for writing workbooks. (I live in Israel and the standards here were created with the Israeli student in mind)

I'm still looking to crack into the educational markets. I'm hoping G-d will still be looking out for me. Even if I had at least one freelance writing assignment, I will be taken more seriously than just 'ah another cover letter and resume' potential writer on some office desk.

On another note, I got an email from a major educational publisher who encouraged me to revise my book proposal on helping reluctant readers. And I have one poem coming out in the Goodness ezine. More details to follow. I continue to write for suite and practice my writing skills. I'm looking for new ways to reinvent the "new Teacher Support" and these thinking and writing skills are good everywhere.

I say a prayer to G-d to keep me going, on writing wings.

Freelance Writing Tips for Newbies and Beyond

2007-04-14T15:24:00.000+03:00

Deborah Ng is now hosting a series of weekend bloggers who discuss important topics for freelancers. This last post by Jeff Pfaller has particularly caught my eye and has certainly taught me a few important things such as writing a contract, keeping a track of email correspondence via 'blind copy' and many others. This post will be linked on her blog soon, so I hope to be able to make an appropriate link in the future.

Marcia Yudkin has a website that has all the FAQ's for newbie writers. Her explanations are very clear about which rights are best for writers, what should a query consist of and agents. According to Marcia, work-for-hire jobs lay at the bottom of the ladder in terms of writer rights, but again, it depends on practicality and how much you want to market yourself and your work again.

At each stage of my writer growth, I'm learning more tricks and tips of the trade helping me bring my writing career to the next level.

Writing For Children

2007-04-09T08:37:00.000+03:00

It's amazing.. One would think that I would have meety ideas for writing childrens' stories since I am a mother to an active toddler and teacher children. But unfortunately that hasn't been the case...until recently. I always have ideas but just haven't gotten used to writing any of them down. It's a bad habit I have until Suzanne Lieurance's blog made me think differently. After especially reading the entry on how to write for children from the webiste writing for Children Center, I realized what I needed to do to turn my ideas into a working story. It was quite helpful. I'm always pressed for time so I opened a word document for ideas just to get into the habit. My son constantly gives me new ideas so I need to be on my toes. Once in a while, I'll look at the ideas and see if I can create a story line with a message.

her blog is chock full of inspiratinal words, coaching advice, newletters, ebooks and many wonderful links. When I'm ready to start devoting more time to marketing the child's writing side of myself, I believe I'll join SCWBI. For me the membership isn't cheap, but I think it's well worth it if that is your writing venue, as it will be mine one day since I always have a passion for understanding a child and have been told how well I connect with them, especially toddler and pres-school age. So, this is definitely an inspiration.

Finally Sending to Educational Publishers

2007-04-08T06:47:00.000+03:00

Well, it's been an interesting two weeks of Passover vacation. I've spent it trying to simulate two solid full weeks (yep, didn't take one day off) of freelance writing. This meant, going through endlesss wedsites for educational publishing, writing query and cover letters, updated numerous times my resume, marketing myself, sending letters, spring cleaning files, updating my files, making sure the links of my writing blog worked, subscribing to newsletters and forums, reading ebooks, asking for information, reading (how to's)more websites, sending off my resume for freelance work-for-hire jobs...well - you get the idea.

And I thought freelance writing was just writing!

Actually, I did a bit of writing too - revised and sent two more short stories, a bunch of articles for suite and associated content as well one abstract to TESOL journal and the Dabbling Mum.(links to the side of this blog)

I also started out my two week hiatus writing a book proposal but that seemed too concentrated and intense for the beginning so I let the two weeks subside and yesterday I found a sample proposal letter that gave me an idea of what should be in a book proposal. It seemed easy enough. I wrote my book proposal and letter and sent them out. whew! I amazed even myself.

What truly amazed me was the process I went through.
It started yesterday when one ESL teacher living in Germany made it sound so easy - He suggested to compile all the work I've designed, turn them into an ebook and send them to language schools and advertise them on forums. (that sounds easy enough)

He also was the trigger for unleashing some dormant voice to go through the remedial reading files and take all the reading passages and vocabulary work I've designed over the years and there it was - a potential published file of the journey I've been on.

The idea of what I would write in that proposal was quite clear to me, and came very quickly and naturally. The moment I sent them out, was when I built my a little dream corner in my study last night. I finally emailed a book proposal for EFL/ESL teachers. I sent it to the main publishers of language learning (yep, didn't compromise) - Cambridge University press, McGraw-Hill, Houghton Mifflin, Heinemann, Scholastic,Carson-Dellosa, Delta, Corwin.

Even if this book proposal doesn't get accepted, it will be the start of a new journey, full of promise and purpose knowing that there are other options besides teaching, and I am enjoying it! Plus,I learned some important skills for jumpstarting my writing career way before I start my sabbatical.

On that note, I am grateful for a slew of modest yet giving writers who constantly share their publishing resources and ideas and whose blogs I constantly reread in order to understand what it was I needed to do at every step of the way. Here's to Heidi's blog and JoAnne's website! (links to the right)

The journey is far from over, but at least I gave myself a mini course in a freelancing writing career.

Come Wednesday, I WILL be again in the classroom, but this time it will be full of purpose.

I am blessed and grateful to be able to do all this while still receiving a teacher's salary. (not the greatest, but it's what I have)

Writing after Pesach

2007-04-03T20:23:00.000+03:00

There is something about the Passover sedar that refreshes and rekindles a spirit to write. Perhaps it is the feeling of belonging to a [family] congregation, not exclusive to the 'word district' where I've been spending most of my time.

I'm digesting yesterday's seadar, which was affable and friendly - everyone was now witness to Ivry's lively dialect and discourse that had everyone in stitches and filled me up with anxiety. [what can i say, I'm still a new mom) While his baby talk is communicative, there is a fierce, determined toddler who seeks to communicate certain ideas. I'm like this toddler, at heart, intense by trying to be senstive to his world and then relaxing at his smile when I finally think I've made the right connection.

Ivry was a delight, looking through the banister [with Daddy, of course] at our uncle and aunt's house in Kohav Yair, speaking what I call 'Yinglish' - three quarters Hebrew and one third English.

Examples:"Mommy, lech!" (Mommy, go!)
"Mommy, soup [smiling] mommy, clandel." [*sigh*] for 'knadel'
and finally: Aba, hotechet, boiyi [daddy, I'm cutting (feminine inflection, wrong one Ivry!) ]

He is a cutie. An empowering one I might add. The reason why I'm writing now.
Whatever that means. Yea, right.

Writing in Your Voice

2007-04-01T18:18:00.000+03:00

As a writer, I need to read as voraciously as possible. The new writer in me loves toying with different fictional voices and narative styles. I just finished reading Disobedience, a brilliantly crafted first novel by young British novelist Naomi Alderman.

It was a hard process for me to find my own voice and style and of course, the process is not nearly over and sometimes not crystal clear. But every time I read a book that inspires me to write, I usually get closer to my own story that I want to tell.

In the beginning, it was all about reading the classics, but eventually I discovered that my contemporary women's fiction MA showed me the way - a singer, a generation of quilters and a daughter of a rabbi. They all have empowering journeys leading them to find their own voice as I will mine... one day.

Our of all the contemporary women's writers I have read (and I've read a lot,) Naomi's book, gave me a unique and satisfying reading experience that conclusded with the thought: my voice, like others, is rich, dark and beautiful.

I wonder why it took 36 years to reach and write this conclusion... another venue, anyhow.

So, do you write your fiction in light of the inspiration other writers give you? How long has it taken you to find your own individual voice in your own writing?

A few words on Passover cleaning ....

I'm enjoying writing at my desk in a clean study. Now, it is my best friend. The old BA papers and files have been resorted and reread through again; the discs redusted and reorganized, school books have been put in our car on the way to the school library when I return to school. I see the twenty two year old who wrote them. It's good. I'm in a better place now. More room to write, less clutter to take in...

And finally Ivry...

Welcoming his friend Ben-Ben whom he missed so much - Ivry gives great hugs!

At Paulette the hairdresser, wishing he was back home.

Here I am! Aren't I cute with short hair? Still a tearful Ivry

Happy Spring, Easter and Passover!

Thursday Thirteen

2007-03-29T08:29:00.000+02:00

Kibbutz Living

Most people I know from abroad have heard of a kibbutz, but have never seen one. Our kibbutz has gone privatized for four years now, but it is still a great place to live. I know we will miss it when we go to the States next year so I am writing this testimony why I love it so much. Maybe it will give you all an idea of this place I call home for the last four years and how it has grown on me.

1…Nature is abound. We live in one of the most beautiful pieces of countryside in israel. The Galilee. There are weeping willows, huge fields, the Jordan River, the mountains in the distance. Being a New York City girl, this is the nature I missed growing up.Great opportunities for hiking.Nature gives us peace of mind.

2. Great place to raise kids (need I say more?)

3. Much clean(er) than an urban area.

4. Little pressure of city life.

5. All of life necessities are in one radius - from the supermarket, infirmary, babyhouse and kindergartens, to the nearby elementary and junior High School, post-office, laundry, dining room, dentist, bike shop, library, archives, teacher's room, pool.The neighboring synagogue is in Kibbutz Kfar Blum but we have never been there.

6. There is still a sense of community. I say 'still' because privitization has effected the way of life but, there are still caring and helpful souls here. Now with the new community being built, there is a more influx of younger people.

7. Parents don't have to compete with the 'temptations' of city life.

8.peace and quiet. It's like we are living on an island.

9. helpful neighbors. There are no young people in our section of our kibbutz but there are many kind souls around us.

10.I can bike to work leaving our car at home.(saves petrol and green friendly)

11. Ivry has a nice playground to play in and some communal friends to play with.Mommy can get to know new friends.

12. We have a beautiful house we renovated two years ago with a new flower budding garden.

13. There is a yummy Thai restaurant at the entrance of our kibbutz.

Thirteen Things about KIBBUTZ

1…. Wendy
2.mamatoo
3.Ingrid
4.mama's moon
5.Ins parenting
6.Tinkerbell
7.noladawn
8.smiling sunflower
9.Bella's echo
10. whozat
11. J. Dawg's-Realm
12.chicken scratch
13.Amy's Random thoughts
14.Susan Helen Gottfried
15. you're next!

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Sending Resumes Out, Writing Proposals and More

2007-03-27T15:00:00.000+02:00

Now that I understand what is a freelance work-for-hire thanks to HSJ Writer my first stop blog. I am now at the point where I feel comfortable enough to send resumes and a cover letter to educational publishers. The house is pretty clean for Passover, and I'm sitting with my coffee in front of the computer. I am taking advantage of these upcoming two weeks to apply myself to the job markets, so that when we arrive in the States in the August, I will have gotten my feet a bit wetter and hopefully I will have made a little bit more money!

Although it's lovely to be on vacation, I am concerned how I will make it financially when I take my leave of absence next year from school. A manuscript won't get finished unless I write it, so I am busy trying to find markets for my ideas and translating some of my ideas to paper.

I consider myself quite lucky and grateful. I belong to a wonderful and resourceful writing community, and I have the teaching experience and educational credentials that publishers are indeed looking for. I need to be patient, let time take it course and wait...

I am getting cold feet with the proposal part. Maybe it is because I am finally learning how to connect to the soul that is responsible for driving my dreams and desires. After all, I am slowly drifting away from a comfortable 8am-2pm teaching job that has grown unto me (and my family) for the last twelve years.

Change is hard, especially when it involves redusting the dreams and desires and taking them off the shelf especially during this time of year - Passover vacation, when I am supposed to be on vacation.

An old colleague of mine, a teacher of Spanish in the States, kept in touch with me via emails before, during and after my Italy trip back in 2002 and succeeded in inspiring me and even more so now.

Four years later, my journey has brought me again to the written word with more passion and belief than ever before. I reread his words just prior to writing this blog entry. I believe what I am doing is meant to be, even though I am not 100% there yet.

Here are a few quotes by him ,which I reread from time to time:

"Your purpose in life is to experience all you can be in life. You create your own destiny by what you imagine it to be. Envision, envision, envision. the point is to Envision what you want, and how you want to feel. Also inspire yourself."

"Tenure (in teaching) is a nice commodity. But it shouldn't be used as a basis for allowing your creative juices to dry up your vocation. Life is an immense possibilities of experiences..."

And the last one..

"The moment we label an experience, we limit our full experience. Perhaps, that's why children are so beautiful masters of life...they experience life to the fullest -and truly live in joy regardless of the surrounding circumstances. Especially when they play in unity with others. Unfortunately, many "grown-ups" have forgotten their inner child - and along with it, the sense of wonder."

Very well said Jose. Sorry for the long post guys.Just had to let this one out.

Opera for Toddlers and other Treats

2007-03-24T09:22:00.000+02:00

I should have posted these a while ago, but I got caught up with my eye and bureaucracy and forgot about life's pleasures. Here are a few photos to show exactly what I mean. :)

>

the meditative blue crystal hanging in the entrancway

Ivry getting ready for the summer

The views of the newly budding tulips from our front garden the first we ever had - perfect for the unpredictable weather we're having here, that seems to be spring but can't make its mind.

the red Chinese bell in our backgarden

The dark looming clouds quickly approaching from the Golan mountains

Ivry's brushing his own teeth now!

And finally, here is a three minute video with the background music of Verdi's La Traviata, one of my favorite operatic composers. It is so cute with pastel colored icing that suddenly drops into funny looking colorful characters that sing opera and form the decorations of a yummy looking wedding cake. Ivry and I watched it again and again. We loved it! Enjoy!

BioEnergies and Healing

2007-03-24T07:57:00.000+02:00

It was just what the doctor ordered. Haim urged me to go to Kibbutz Yiron, a 35 minute drive away from our kibbutz way up in the Galiee mountains, for a few hours of workshops including Laughing and yoga and a bioenergy workshop.

Despite the fact that everybody looked familiar, I ate breakfast and spoke English (!) with Sharon, another teacher from the school I work.

The laughing workshop was a lot of fun, releasing happy hormones, a good kick-off to start the 2.5 week Passover vacation.

Then the real magic happened with the bio-genergy workshop. In pairs, we were instructed to be healers and recievers of energies. Inutitively I found my own energy channel. It took me a some time to focus my breathing from the busy and intense week. My partner readily received the treatement and I felt huge spouts of warmth pouring from all over. The electro-magnetic field was charged after that. I felt some kind of connection, elemental grounding to mother-nature and some kind of healing took place. I could feel it. My partner and I both attested to it in the open forum.

I'm so glad I went. It was however energy draining so I ended up sleeping for 3.5 hours to rest off especialy after the exhuasting trip to the US embassy in Tel Aviv (see previous posting) Much later that night, I was able to rethink thorugh articles for suite101. (Thank you Hubby! I love you...)

I realized I have the power to heal myself and this is the most enlightening thought of it all. Since I was so inspired by this event, I decided to write a short story about it.

Writers especially need to step aside from the written word in order to revive them again by participating in such workshops. Healing is an important part of the process and I believe that everybody has the power to heal themselves.

Now I'm writing, I'm already feeling the results!

Writing in Light

2007-03-20T21:29:00.000+02:00

Well, my eyes are now open. The eye specialist today in Kiriyat Shmona confirmed it . The cornea is healed but I still have to put long term drops and night cream. Funny. This time when I visited the specialist , he coldn't understand what I meant when I said that it was a very interesting week and handed him a bulk of papers from the four emergency room visits.

It's been quite an experience, but I'm back in full swing, reconnecting with the lessons of this four day ordeal and applying this greater understanding to daily life. I've already written about this experience in words. And it was self-revealing. The understanding I have received is indeed a gift.

in the end, I'm not coming to the States for a quick six day bureaucratic run around with Haim's immigrant visa papers during Peasach vacation. We have five short months to wait and see the turn over and writing is now taking a bit of a back burner, unfortunately. Hopefully but only for a little while. (Actually I was able to write a pretty decent article for suite 101 but little with the other freelance areas of writing) This red tape is extremely bureaucratic. Lots of web chats with the US, today's Athens phone calls and probably again tomorrow, yesterday's web chat again. Emails flying everywhere. Today and yesterday phone calls with the US embassy in Tel Aviv. I can just go on and on and eventually, write a book just about it. (this experience reminds me so much of the movie "Greencard")

I'm in the zone for maintaining control over everything and anything we need to do, because once we cross the Atlantic, that will be it.

The policies also change all the time. Just yesterday, I was booking a flight with a travel agent to file the alien petition and today Haim was told that we can now send the application to the US embassy in Athens without my presence in the States. Whew! Another $1400 we would probably have to shell out.

And all this to wait it out for a mere six months. Six months?? This is crazy crazy world we live in.

I'm glad I'm too innocent and green in my thoughts to understand the complex side of the way bureacrats think. All I know, is that I need to translate our marriage certificate, get documents notarized and show proof of residency and pay the bloody $190 application fee for opening more of life's options and doors to the next chapter in our lives...

Why does it have to be incredibly complicated and complex? All we want is a little bit of piece of mind? writing in light... Does this mean I can see the light? I guess so...

Writing in the Dark

2007-03-16T17:42:00.000+02:00

Well, almost. My left eye is bandaged due to an eye erosion. And I am reaching out to words and you bloggers, to aid me in my comfort. After two full days of darkness, I decided I wouldn't succumb to personal circumstances, and since I have the gift of touch type, I will write in the dark and still be able to express myself. The hard part is checking to see if I spelt everything okay. For this I need to open my eyes.

Except for not being able to write and seeing my son's glorious face, evrything is pretty ok. Haim is my savior. He is literally my left eye, cooking, bringing Ivry, driving, rubbing my shoulders, talking to me, making me feel better.I just wish I could read books. Ivry helped by bringing me water, rubbing my back, hugged me, and rubbed my face. (I explained him about the eye patch) So far, we went twice to the emergency room in Zefat,one day after the next, a gloomy religious small city about 35 minutes away, due to no eye doctors in our immediate area until Sunday. I was supposed to test twelfth graders in another school orally on Thursday, but the last minute strike came in through and saved me and I stayed at home.

Whilst in the dark, I can see... see many things. the color of my characters that I intend to write about just when I abandoned them.The voices, the words... that I had saved for the weekend but now it will be in the dark. But I can't keep my eye closed when I am around my son.. that is pure joy and the reason why I am actually writing this post is to hopefully publish a children's book that was inspired by him when I was writing in the dark.

Now I really appreciate my ability to see. Being able to see is truly a gift. I was a little bit afraid in my first day of darkness, but I prayed and sang to Ivry and read to him by memory Dr.Suess's Two Fish and that helped me through.

Real Moms Are...

2007-03-13T21:15:00.000+02:00

Here's my call. Real moms are...

true to themselves.

I didn't debate too long about this one. I went with the first association that came out of my head.

I'm done making excuses for trying to sqeeze in everything. If I can't write an article, check Bagrut papers and try and be a mother, I'm on a one way trip to suicidal craziness. It's about priorities. No more squeezing in. Time to enjoy what I have without rushing too much.

Okay, I fancy Scribbit for now. I'm widening my social circles slowly. Thanks Robin for tagging me and the quick pick up!

All that A Writer and Her Family can Be

2007-03-09T20:56:00.000+02:00

From the corner of my porch, I can see ivry running to the next door's garden in bloom and beyond that there is another garden, and another, and another.. All around here. Is it true? Yes, spring's finally here.

For Ivry , this means hearing mommy's favorite The Frog and Toad book - as the first tulip

This means thinking of new and fresh ideas for articles and stories that quickly come when reading and digging up weeds and finding that old dirty toy Ivry used to play with.

This means planning our lives in the morning and again when the sun goes down and the tulips fade come night.

This means cleaning for passover and feung shuing our house all over again, making sure our energy chai is not blocked.

It means networking, socializing, basking in late afternoon sun, getting ready for daylight saving time, thinking about the summer, forgetting about the rain, preparing out jackets and sending them away to the dry cleaners and forgetting how cold it was in other parts of the world.

We are still grateful and blessed by all that we have and done and all that we can still be.

Ivry's Purim Party

2007-03-04T11:32:00.000+02:00

It was a most unbelievable sight. Arriving at the gan I sought my son, unable to find him.

And there he was, glowing in pink, with a vivacious smile, a combination of Pippi Longstocking, a red headed cutie, and his own Ivryness.

We all went hoping from gan to gan all around the kibbutz with with "mishlohe manot". It was nice for the old people to hear a "darabuka playing" and watching kids in costumes.

Ivry was always in the rear, poking sticks in car spokes, running it through crevices, pulling plastic horses off bulletin boards and kicking stones. what a girly delight!

He didn't want a mask so he chose to be a girl instead. Is it a girl? Is it a boy? (Pregnancy issues)

Anyhow, we all wear masks, even behind the computer or with the pen, when we write. Purim legitimates our fantasies and brings them up front. Ivry obviously knew what 'mask' he wanted to wear.

Here are some pictures of the little redhead from today big Purim gala bash at the kibbutz.

Happy Purim!

Journals and Blogging - A New Season?

2007-03-01T06:45:00.000+02:00

I'm in a bit of a stump. Perhaps a lull, if you call it. No emails showed up today from any publishers. I've got lots of ideas for articles. Sent a few out to TESOL and other ESL journals. That's a start.

I have had my share of writing 'hurts'. It's hard to judge a freelanceing gig by its cover: will they pay, (and on time) Unfortunately, this has already happened with one writing gig I've signed up with. After a long intense week writing for them, they have disappeared and I wonder.. what about payment?) Of course, I'll still continue to send out resumes yet I wonder.

I continue to write for suite. It's a steady consistency, and gives me purpose.

In this interrim I took out a small stack of journals I wrote when I was in the Israeli army fifteen years ago. First thing off - I noticed my writing style was innocent , casual (I wrote as if I spoke) similar to blogging, which is also quite casual and friendly sounding.

I hardly write journals anymore but it is fun to reread those journals. My reaction in the past towards those journals has been one of contempt or loathing: I hated to reread my writing.

It has always been hard for me to write clearly and exactly what I want to say. Also, I am not always so patient with myself.

Those journals are now very important to see the development of my writing, and I could say, even inspiring in terms of getting back to writing (and rewriting!) fiction.

Blogging. Journals. They still sound the same to me. (or not)Don't you think?

All Abloom in the Galilee

2007-02-24T15:13:00.000+02:00

Ivry and I biked to neighboring moshav of Beit Hillel. The cherry blossoms were in bloom. I stood enchanted by its loveliness; couldn't get enough.

Just when I adopted a winter frame of mind, spring comes all too soon, caught us all Galilean residents by surprise.

Ivry wasted no time digging into into the dirt while I photographed the trees. We weren't there for long as it was close to lunchtime and Ivry's diaper needed a changing.

Ah.. a few minutes to relax, reflect and enjoy.

The Voice of Fiction

2007-02-24T08:35:00.000+02:00

Last summer, during that terrible Israeli-Lebanon war, Gotham writing teacher Sarah Fay McCarthy said that I have experienced things few have.

Eight months later, I am finally translating those early experiences into fiction. And I realized what this means. Finally.

I am referring to my cultural and social acclimization to Israel and especially to army life. This brings me back to women's contemporary fiction and the issue of voice.

This time I am retracing the first years of adapting to Israeli life. What happened to my voice? What happened to my identity? I am finding these are one of the most powerful themes of contemporary (women) fiction.

I believe there is a reason for this to happen.

I never grew up facing a garden, hearing Hebrew and listening to the news almost every single day. I never grew up with so many dark faces at once, fields of kiwi orchards, corruption, hearing the word 'hevre' daily.

I never thought that it would also be an going part of the cultural, social and linguistic niches of my life either.

It is time now to open the book bound journals I wrote during those early years, dust them off, remember that nineteen, twenty, twenty one year old again who was confused, perhaps scared, excited and unsure of herself in army boots or walking down stone streets of Zefat with her first Israeli boyfriend, proud to know she had met and found one.

As a mother now, I am comfortable to write about all these things in peace and quiet domesticity. Ivry knows his mommy is near and Haim allows me my creative freedom and I allow myself to go back to revisit memories and turn them into something else. Remembering always the voice. This time, it will be different.

2007-02-23T21:32:00.000+02:00

An Online Community of Writers

2007-02-23T08:48:00.000+02:00

The online community of teachers and writers is bigger than I thought. It takes a bit of skill and a lot of will power to 'meet' the educational world of publishing.

When I first started out in this business almost about a month or so ago, I was very hesitant. Now I have signed on with three different freelance newsletters and every week I am either sending something previously written or writing something new. I am always grateful and link that writer's blog to mine.

Deborah Ng (the link to the side) leads are the ones I seem to have the most luck. Every day I seem to find something new. Yesterday, I applied for an online developing writer for an English teaching course. I want to develop, stimulate and growin every writing direction possible. My niche is ESL writing, non-fiction stories, articles. Ivry always gives me wonderful story ideas and now I am tinkering with it.

How do you get story and writing ideas?

Taking it One Day at a Time

2007-02-18T06:21:00.000+02:00

I am starting this week with a gentle reminder - taking my life one day at a time.

This way I am ensuring my ability to live the day to the fullest - without too much panic, treating the day as it comes.

For the writer in me, this means revising, rewriting the seeds of words.

For a teacher, it means connecting to the material and students without getting too tired.

For a mother, it means, listening , learning, loving my son.

For a wife, it means sharing my woes with Haim.

I could go on, but that is not the purpose in this writing.

I woke up in panic this morning, overhwelmed by all that I want to do, all that I want to accomplish. This feeling brought me back to a new realization coupled with old childhood memories.

There is no reason why I should come home from school too exhuasted, or spend too much time behind the computer and leave little time for motherhood.

The day, is a perfect harmony of balance, of I am in the here and now.

I hope you take these things with you as you start your week.

Combining Writing and Teaching - A Good Fit?

2007-02-17T21:25:00.000+02:00

An aspiring writer needs to start somewhere. Often I visit other writer's blogs and freelancer lists I've signed up for. I rather start small and build up gradually. This will ensure the small success for what it is worth. (and it is worth something) I just landed on quite an interesting gig for Hebrew/English editing job, but it turned out to be preparing slogans for a major airline company. Although it is not directly in my writing realm of aspiring expertise, it does fall into my niche.

Often, I get too wrapped up in writing and forget I teach 100 or so students daily and when I realize the time, I run off to prepare a lesson hastily wondering what I was doing before. the routine though is pretty much the same: Every day at around 5-6 pm or so, I run off to the study to mark papers and think about the next day's lessons leaving a cute Ivry with his daddy until he leaves for work at 7:45 pm for the night shift of security on our kibbutz. I have barely time or energy to think through writing by this point, but, I always try to save the weekend time for catching up on serious writing. Because I don't have the luxury to have Haim watch over Ivry during sleeptimes, I am forced to schedule my work planning before his bedtimes leaving me and Ivry very little quality time together. By the time 9 o'clock rolls around, I am quite exhausted and quite a few times I end up sleeping together with him waking up the next day realizing that I hadn't prepared my lessons. I hate when that happens.

In the meantime, this is schedule and the life of what I have to deal with. I figure though that I am on the right track in terms of combining a bit of freelance (whatever I can do and find) with my teaching job since I am the primary breadwinner of my family. At this stage of the game, I cannot afford to think of anything else otherwise... until my sabbatical comes rolling around.

That will be heaven.

This is a paid studying sabbatical (I have to study full time, no problem will find something)- my very first one and I really truly have earned it. After twelve hard years working in the classroom with some very difficult classes not to mention doing my MA and many other side in-service courses and teaching privately as well as in colleges and other schools, I am ready now to take a break. I can definitely say that with conviction. I'm seeing some serious changes in how I approach my role as a writer and I do see myself rising slowly in this niche. I intend to take advantage of the somewhat peace of mind of the sabbatical to explore more freelance opportunities and possibly work-for-hire opportunities (I'm starting out now already). I am hoping that the courses I choose study next year will help me in my continuing aspirations and endeavors: a childrens' writing course, marketing, publishing..

In the meantime, I am having a hard time finishing this year's teaching. I am tired, overworked. Teachers around me are not happy, lack vigor and the job demands continue to grow. But I continue to learn new things, write another cover letter, write another suite article, look through freelance lists, send another story out, read another submission guidelines and more...all this after a full day's work.

It is very hard trying to juggle all three worlds at once. There are days I try and only steam comes out. Sometimes even tears (not from the rejections) but from tiredness and exhaustion. So, I just cross that day out and move on...But sometimes, it's not so easy.
I am striving to live a more balanced life. I am always trying remember there are other things besides school!

Selling my First Article

2007-02-15T21:06:00.000+02:00

There is a silver lining for everybody....Even me. I never thought it could happen to me ... I mean publishing and all... but yea, it finally happened!

It's rainy outside but my heart is warm and excited. I just received payment for a full feature article on family simplicity I had written last December. Deborah Ng posts leads daily. I'm following in Heidi's footprints in sharing all the information I can via this blog.(still need to figure out how some things work around here) I'm still a newbie and even though I have a few ideas for readers and storybooks and sent two adult fiction short stories out, I'm happy for my first success. This is just what I needed today for my ego and sanity.

This means the world to me. It means...
1. I can combine school and writing successfully (!) and take up writing more once school is out and probably full time when i will be on sabbatical next year
2. That my writing isn't that bad (otherwise I wouldn't have gotten published)
3. My list of writing credits is growing.
4. My confidence in my writing ability is rising.
5. And lastly, I CAN DO IT!

And to all you fellow green writers, even to those seasoned and published writers... Never underestimate the power of hard work!

Ever since I made the decision to seriously combine writing with my teaching job, I didn't think I would be writing and sending clips out as I am now. Actually, I am quite surprised that I got published so quickly!

Getting published if you ask me, is a lot of hard work but also a lot of luck! Ask anybody out there and I'm sure it's true.

So how do I celebrate my success? By continuing to write after I make that donation to Deborah Ng. And as Deb says, don't forget to pay it forward! What a great way to start the weekend!

Valentine's Day on Kibbutz Sde Nehemiya

2007-02-14T21:46:00.000+02:00

It started with bringing a flower to the toddler house where Ivry happily goes every morning. He reached for the chocolate within the rose. I didn't bring a camera for pictures but savored the precious few minutes I had with him before I took off for school.

When I picked him up, I had learned that he was cranky since I left, wanted the 'pacy' - short for pacifer and generally wasn't calm. So not Ivry!

In keeping with the writing theme for this blog, I hoped to find more reconnecting time with myself which ultimately turns to be squirting lines for a short story, imagining a character, and depending how happy I am , thinking about my mom. Today's reflections were spent watching Ivry throw a pacifier from the bed to the floor while he kept himself entertained with his plastic screwdriver which he likes to pull the screw, which he also presently threw on the floor. I through this, was trying to keep warm underneath a threadbare comforter and reading him the short version of "One Fish, Two Fish" (the tried and tired version) and reading in-between yawns.

From the tiredness, came the thoughts bundled from 'what will be?" thoughts of overtiredness - thoughts rambling from a lack of proper clarity and focus and uncertainty and a rising fear. I call it the mother-daughter depths of that raw emotion - always that which cannot be verbalized and ended today, in a few tears on my pillow.

I don't want my son to see me cry but he did an extraordinary thing, the same thing he did last night: he cupped my face in his two small hands, caressed by eyes, face, nose and finally, stretched himself into a sleep mode saying, "Mommy!" He is such an angel, my Ivry, the compensation of my life. A love machine. The love of my life.

Outside I could hear the hyenas laughing and remembered that this was an important day: love was shared by all in the Sasson household (and verbalized too)

I came home with a bag full of tenth grade tests but at least Haim cleaned the house today.! You gotta love the hubby...

Some Words on How Memories Become Memoirs - Happy Valentine's Day!

2007-02-13T14:43:00.000+02:00

Everybody I know is receiving an e-card tomorrow for Valentine's Day. I just signed up (paid) for a membership with Jacquie Lawson. She makes such beautiful things.I've just sent a whole list out. If you want to receive a beautiful card and I've forgotten you for any reason, I didn't mean it. Please email me, and I will send you one. (don't be shy!)Her cards are so beautiful and heartwarming - just the thing for a cold day, and for overworked, tired, lethargic people who are trying to make ends meet or just trying to enjoy life. On this day, we need to remember our love for others and to show love and kindness.

On Valentine's Day,as a little girl, I would make cards and gifts to give to family and friends. Sharing, helping, saying kind words, doing kind deeds, and becoming considerate of one another can also express love and I know that our relationship isn't what it used to be - but I know her music was love and her laugh was music too. Even though it wasn't always verbalized, (there were reasons) - showing love and kindness to friends and family today has now become something of a natural habit for me personally. Every day I tell my son how much I love him. Even though his grandmommy is not a part of his life, he will always know he has a grandmommy in New York and she is loved and that is what I can give.

As for my own mommy, maybe she can't click on a Jacquie Lawson 'open card' but, I can think about her, love her and pray for her good health. On February 15th, she will be 71 years old.

This coming August, it will be 10 years already since she has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Ten years way too long.

I want so badly to sit in peace uninterrupted in the solitude of my own room - better yet to go on a writing retreat with a project in mind and bring those memories to surface only to find the love and find a connection again. I can only do this in a subsidized writer residency. And maybe I will get my dream...one day...

This year I will call only instead of sending a card. I wish she had a email address and we could send emails every day. Maybe I can make up one for her... How about: 'bemymomagain@hotmail.com?'

Where do Your Characters Come From? And How Do You Treat them?

2007-02-10T12:10:00.000+02:00

I've noticed a recurring pattern when I write fiction especially with short stories. I almost always strip down the characters to their basic facts: some composite of American/Israel Jewishness, artists, (usually painters) and basically based on the mother-daughter theme. (sometimes father) Well, that pretty much sums me up.

I think all beginning fiction writers stick to what they know. Today however, I let myself out a little more outside the boundaries and experimented with a different character. And a bit less ethnic.

On a side note, I've almost always noticed something from what I've written enters the personal venue. Where we are in our lives emotionally, socially, intellectually and spiritually (did I forget anything? probably economically..how could a writer not look at that) always seems to affects the way characters interact - sometimes they bring out the best in each other - other times they bring out a test of love and faith. Almost always my journey is their journey.

*****

I think the emotional ingredient that goes along with writing plausible, slice-of-life characters is believing and loving them.

This emotional bit also sums me up in a nutshell and where I am at emotionally. Fiction therefore, is basically an extension of a writer's self and psyche. No doubt.

Lee (Lisa) Kaplan, a writer who critiqued my first beginning out novel said that you need to love your characters. Dream about them. But love them. I couldn't relate to that part in her critique last April but now I think I understand it.

Now that I am on a process of caring for my characters' welfare, perhaps I can start reinventing them a bit differently and perhaps experimenting with other types, interests, backgrounds etc.

So, with that all said, where do your characters come from? and how do you treat them?

What is my Writer Vision?

2007-02-04T06:01:00.000+02:00

Lately, I've been wondering how to maximize my chances of jump starting my ESOL writing career off the ground. I have applied for the MATESOL program already, so that's a start. But I don't want to get my feet wet in the ESOL market only when the program begins plush that's a long time off anyhow.

My writing job at suite101 covering three topics keeps me on my toes especially with the new contract I've signed on.Even though I have only earned $6.24, I need to keep up the pace, a portfolio and reputation until I've signed on with other writing assignments.

And then there's the real reality I wake up to from Sunday to Thursday - the face of a teacher. Because of all these changes I've been undergoing, I see my role as teacher very differently these days. I'm a dedicated professional always willing to go that extra mile for teaching development, looking for ways to enrich myself as I try to challenge, teach and inspire my students.

This year however has been harder to do all this. I've thought about it much. Perhaps the school climate has changed, the atmosphere is too superficial for me, and I need more stimulation. There the willy-nilly of teachers that pervades at school and then there my complex thinking that took me to expending long hard emotional energy. In light of all this, I'm busy writing for New Teacher Support as a 'tickun' or 'fix it' of those early experiences and to aid me, are the living experiences and lessons I'm learning NOW. The importance of incorporating a balance - probably the most important lesson I will have taken from all of this.

This brings me to my final point- long term planning. It's time now to see beyond the fear, the stuck in a moment feeling that happens all too often, the worry of what will be and begin somewhere. I need to constantly start small in order for my vision to grow BIG. I'm referring to:
1. taking an SEO course (since this web writing is growing)There is a lot happening inthis field so the options are constantly growing but this is the first available hands-on thing that can serve me NOW.
2. look up the TESOL websites and write a query or better yet, send a submission.
3. start planning options for next year's sabbatical (together with Haim)

I've seen too many a teacher reach age 50 feeling burned out, tired, frustrated only begging the principals to let them go into early retirement. I don't want to happen to me yet teachers still say to me at school: "You're still young, You have many years left to go."

That saying makes my life look like a long way highway, with no bends or turns. I don't want to look old and withered too soon, like a faded out flower that's lost its bloom. But when Sunday comes around, that's what I know I'll continue to hear - until June perhaps or even longer depending on how sparked (or unsparked) the teachers and the teacher unions turn out to be.

The purpose of this blog is only to help establish my vision. It doesn't need to stop at the teacher's room. But it sure is hard to find the right moment in which to feel comfortable and happy with the right vision that I'm looking for.

Ivry, Puddles and Clifford

2007-02-03T12:11:00.000+02:00

It was a most uneventual walk on a very quiet Saturday on the kibbutz. Ever since the kibbutz has turned privatized, there are hardly people out – well, maybe I’m exaggerating but it seems like that especially on semi-rainy days.

All I could hear was my English echoing everywhere from counting the steps with Ivry to the club room, to the empty dining room naming the assorted colors and shapes of the stained glass window to watching rocks float momentarily then sink in muddy leafy puddles. We had a grand time playing hide and seek. Having no boots for this kind of thing, we went to the babyhouse to get a pair, but alas, Ivry suddenly became too antsy and may I add, very very wet..

By the time we reached the mailboxes, Ivry’s pants down were soaking wet from quick stepping in puddles. I found an old Clifford story book that I loved reading about in the States. I have been waiting to reread this book and to see its cute pictures of this lovable friendly dog! It looked a bit dungy and moldy. But I didn't care. I discovered that it came from the Kfar Blum English library just a few minutes away by car, and since nobody seemed to want nor could understand my love for this great big red dog I loved reading about, I claimed him as our virtual pet. It's now warming up along with my son's wet pants and muddy wet (!) socks. Clifford is our permanent story book friend now; the substitute for not having a real dog - the golden retriever I had always wanted.

Mind you the mommy didn't take her camera, so no photo shoots today. But the question of the day still remains: can anybody guess where I took these pictures?

A Silver Lining

2007-01-31T15:10:00.000+02:00

With the mixed sunshowers we've been having, this last photoshoot really showed me how great digital photography really is. (Remind myself to add that as a possible course during a sabbatical) through and in the pouring rain, I ran to my neighbor's house only a few meters away, the best possible place to catch the right angle of sun with two cameras hardly able to contain my excitement. Snapping and zooming. Within a matter of minutes, I started watching a rainbow slide show hurrying again inside. Now, that's a silver lining - magic!

The week has passed by fast. I did a marathon posting of several suite articles for different topics. I figured an article a day might help me a bit. This might help the add revenue new contract share although I am still interested in the quality of writing. For this, I'm using all the unpublished articles and not-yet-sorted articles from various files. I've already gotten feedback. That's a good sign. I love this writing job at suite 101. The system is easy to navigate and the people are courteous and friendly. It's also a great learning opportunity for the non-fiction market and since I learn best interactively, this was a good fit.

I tried to eased back into a fiction writing routine trying to make my mark by writing until 11`pm yesterday, or until my sockets turned wirey. Now I'm back home, after school, - play date time with the computer again. Life isn't bad at all....after all...

Mommy and Ivry Bonding

2007-01-29T21:06:00.000+02:00

It was the highlight of the evening.

Ivry covered the bathroom tiles with most of the alphabet letters. I thought of my next writing topic.

Ivry looked at the letters and said, "F", "E" - Eti, "G" - go-go, "S" - Saba.

I however was so tired and simply looked at him and the wall. He had this amazing grin showing all his baby teeth.

I just sat and looked at him.. "Wow!" "Mommy!" when he had all the letters plastered on the tiles.

And then he laid his belly on mine. I felt almost as if I was pregnant again... He hugged and laid his cheek against my belly. That was such a glorifying moment!

The Kibbutz and Us

2007-01-25T18:32:00.000+02:00

The end of another week. Thursday. We welcomed it and went around the new neighborhood. New skeletons of houses and roads. Cars and more cars. The small nucleus of what has been a kibbutz now looks more like a small suburb. We have adapted to the change, the views are different. Old timers for the most part, find it difficult to adjust to all the newness. But still, the place is quite homey and calms me down. I feel quite connected to the earth and enjoy finding beauty which makes my world a lot richer.

We started with feeding the horses and meet up with Pnina - Ivry's midwife who is also 'gingy.' I didn't get a chance to photograph her. She is so sweet and loves Ivry. She was with her grandchild, Moran. Ivry loves horses but only from a distance and threw grass saying "ze sheli" - we couldn't understand what he was talking about until we managed to finally arrive at Rutty's where he said 'oh my g-d' and made sly faces at her. She couldn't get enough. Ivry certainly has his moments.

Sometimes I think the social changes have separated people too far apart. There are certain social-economic codes that have become too complicated and difficult to explain - Haim's kibbutz status and my non-one make it easier to understand and deal with. Often I wonder what we would do if we didn't have Rutty as a common friend. People here have become too self-engrossed in their own nucleus to bring out the togetherness that once was - but such is destiny of all kibbutzim. Happily, the beauty of the nature outweighs the other changes. I said to Haim last night that we need to start branching out - meeting other people from the neighborhood. We have been elected to be the adopted parents of an older couple, the parents of Rinat and Tomer. Might be nice for Ivry. Ah, now there's a thought.

Couldn't sleep last night until 1 pm after taking my pill. But I managed to get through the day.

The Love of my Life

2007-01-24T19:13:00.000+02:00

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Ivry... He's developing and changing so fast.

He went for a 'drive' today with his father while I was at pedagogical meetings.

When he saw me drive up, he was so happy. I wish I had a camera but these pics Haim took weren't bad .

Some Thoughts on Balance and Harmony

2007-01-23T07:20:00.000+02:00

It's hardly any different than what I regularly do - after 7:15 am or so I'm already getting into the school frame of mind but after yesterday's day off, I started picking up on different sensations that translated into creating balance and harmony.

It was a nifty day off with lots of 'me' stuff - writing, blogging, reading, suite writing again, networking. Where is Ivry in all of this?

Objectively speaking, there's hardly enough Ivry.

I blame this on how how I filter in school air, depending on my day. I've decided that 'enough is enough'. (This time I mean it!)

It's time that Ivry gets a mother who is not so self-absorbed in writing and school. this mommyhood was well worth the wait. The students have many pieces of me - Ivry needs more than a piece! He needs lots of chunks!

Sadly, the time out writing was the alone time I needed to seep into this realization that a work identity (another one, other than a school one) is where I need to be in my life and I am striving towards it. It won't be easy making a living from writing so I have to find more viable means.

But I will strive to creating more of a happier balance with my work and family.For this I take a few nice photos of Ivry to remind me of this.

So what's today's agenda after school when I come home at 2pm?

1. Crawl into bed if need be and say 'hi' to the hubby.
2. Take a deep breath in and out. You're worth it!
3. Find time between 3 and 3:30pm to finish yesterday's talk with Haim (alternatively, finish the outline from yesterday's story)
4. 4-5 pm. spend time with Ivry
5. Dentist appointment at 5:45.

Oh, did I mention the online Open House at the New School? (today 7am NYC time. It should be online already)
*Hugs* to me! You can do it!

A Quiet Morning

2007-01-22T09:44:00.000+02:00

This week has started off relatively quiet. I didn't stay for pedagogical meetings yesterday at school and today there is a strike. Although I don't hold much hope for a raise, I am happy as pie by the prospect of being able to write this morning without any distractions.

Today's agenda~

1) Write the first chapter. Eventually decide if what I am writing fits a short story or novel. But decide!

2) Finalize the cast of characters. And decide!

3) Work on a few writing exercises to keep the writing flow.

And some others.
1. Walk.
2. Grade a few papers.
3. Go to the infirmary and check out my knee and see how the healing is progressing.
4. Love the Ivryleh...

I doubt I will work on any of the memoir or non-fiction pieces today or this week for that matter. I'm trying to just craft a few pieces of fiction out just in case I do end up applying for a non degree / degree writing program and/or residency at the last minute. I'm always checking the web and I'm not giving up just because of a rejection or I've had a bad day!

Intuitively, I believe I need to work on crafting more short stories, since they are easier for me to see through. I need long(ish) periods of time to do that. This does not mean that it will not be done, it's just that it's harder to do it with all the spacing and things going on right now in my life.

This day off came right on time!

Joyful Networking

2007-01-20T20:55:00.000+02:00

Ah, finding joy in networking for the serious minded. Now that I've unleashed some habits that are helpful in promoting hopefully important progress and links in our future in the States, I'm hoping that I will maximize the options available. networking is important and I've never really felt a need to do it ... until now.

I'm glad I did my preliminary goals for the year. I just finished looking through some of them.

Lately, it's been so much easier for me to write. Maybe it's because I've purged my soul from too many New Year Resolutions, or maybe I've just decided to not be so antsy abut finding the right time to write and just flow with the available schedule that I have and take what comes.

And I feel weird saying this, but through networking, I've found more of a purpose to write. Ever since I let my first story "The Artist" fly to the world, I've become much less self-conscious about my work and where I am in terms of my writing.

I'm not wasting too much time on revising certain pieces right now, more of a need to build my own voice in the fiction genre. I'm keeping a rejection file, but only for business purposes.

Every time I catch one of Deborah Ng's leads, I surprise myself by checking out the available sites. I've decided that I would steer clear of writing too much about what I know and more about what I am interested in. There is a difference.

I've given up on plot antics. Sometimes the delete button is actually much more helpful in seeing a story through.

I'm supposed to keep by my 1,000 word limit of whatever it is I am working now. For some reason, it's becoming easier every time for me to do so.

************

And from the cold and rain today, Dad and Lynn came with bundles of nice things: a cheese cake for Ivry's belated birthday, (which we all three gobbled instantly)some fleece warmers for Ivry (green - Ivry's favorite), a black suit set for me that Lynn didn't want, a small packet of Dead Sea bath salts from their week trip, (which eased my shoulder pains)lots of unread Jerusalem Posts weekend editions, and a bulldozer and car toy set for Ivry. (metal, won't break) Unfortunately, Ivry and Haim were taking their long Shabbat snooze so I greeted them with a broom in my hand. (The house was so dirty!)They didn't stay for long. they came from a dentist appointment and the rain was coming down.

Later when Haim and Ivry awoke, Ivry spoke with his Saba and Savtah and repeatedly said, "Shabbat Shalom!" It was so cute. He dawdled while he rapturously heard Savtah's voice coming through on the speak of the cell. (It's easier for both sides to converse so to speak) Every time Savtah asked a question, he said, 'Ken!"

I'm grateful though that he understands when his family speak to him in English. Over dinner today, he surprised me by answering 'Yes' when I asked if he was hungry. that astounded me. But that kind of thing doesn't happen often - it comes and goes. I supposed the second language acquisition theories that I've read back in Oranim days, have something to do with L2 interference/ the confirmation being that L1 is the main thrust of language he hears for a good part of the day. I'll be lucky if he hears just 10% of his language input in English. Oh well, score another point for Krashen and his theories.

Ah, now the house is now quiet all over again. I love it when it gets like this. I've done most of my school planning (by locking myself in the bedroom and bathroom, don't laugh)

Haim's back at work. Ivry fell asleep listening to his favorite classical music tape, coughing from time to time but warm as can be (it's a cold cold night for Israeli winter) and I'm doing what I love to do.. Guess! I love writing from home..

Planning my Sabbatical

2007-01-20T11:50:00.000+02:00

Which Road will I take? Which Road will Lead me to Where?

Well, it's official. I'm now planning for my sabbatical but it's not as easy as it looks. I'm trying to keep an open mind keeping all venues open. It seems to me that the country doesn't encourage teachers to study abroad and they want to keep the money in the bank while my nose is pointing in the other direction - trans Atlantic. As always, time and money are always factors. The online program in TESOL is not studying full time by their standards and I'm debating whether to begin the process and send the 50 $ application fee as I have always devised a lesson plan, teaching essay, resume (was ready from before)and a statement of purpose. I was told that it would cover the enrichment side and not the obligatory courses.

I am slowly checking out my options and realizing the planning is really crucial as I want to get the maximum amount of funding. It takes quite a bit of smartness, flexibility and creativity to get what I want. The tuition is much higher than Israeli standards and help! I just want it all to work out in the end.

Haim and I want to take a year off from our quiet domesticated life on kibbutz. I feel quite cut off from the rest of the world. I really want to take a writing course or two for my soul. For Israeli standards, my case is 'harig' or 'exceptional' but all I want to do is go to Greenwich Village, study at the New School, the building I have always passed by as a younger and now want to study at formally at one of their continuing educational programs~

Here are some other attractive options I'm currently brainstorming that might open up into something else~

1. grant writing
2. marketing or publishing
3. copy editing, technical writing (sounds boring)
4. writing courses (these are considered to be 'language courses' for the sabbatical fund.
5. public speaking and presentation techniques
6. a certificate program in publishing (City University)

I don't want to build too much into plan A (NYC), but I really want it and I hope that it will work for me!

In the meantime, I'm writing numbers and names of potential places like the National Council of Jewish Women in Jerusalem for getting sabbatical credit for research projects and the like!
Wish me luck!

An Ego Boost!! Yea!

2007-01-11T14:23:00.000+02:00

I got my school bag ready for another day to find that an email was flashing from a recent web site that I had sent an article about 'family simplicity'. It pays nothing but, it's nice to see my name in print. I originally sent it to Garden and Hearth and me, being a bit on the anxious side, sent it to other publications as well. Publishing is a slow slow business, so I'm glad this came in through.

Here's the link for any interested readers ~

Sometimes I wonder if I have what it takes to publish something serious, that takes a lot of work and guts to get going. All my side projects that I had planned for this months are in the meantime, taking a bacburner until ivry goes back to the gan. All he wants is his 'Aba' and his 'Ima' so I need to decide when and how I am a writer , a mommy, or a teacher. I wish life wasn't so complicated:-(

I've been under such pressure to just keep my head above water with parent teacher meetings, the upcoming Bagrut, getting my twelfth graders grades (protective grades) in, checking their preliminary Bagrut tests, and just waking up in the morning and praying for a good and decent day. Here I am, getting my soul in order... This was just the thing I needed to see today to remember that the writing keeps knocking on my door.

Today's Blessings

2007-01-10T07:32:00.000+02:00

I haven't been able to write at all in the last few days. We returned from Haifa with a sick and congested little Ivry. My heart felt for his little lungs. We barely could make it through the night listening to him. This time around however, our family doctor gave him special inhalation fluid. I relaxed. At least we wouldn't have to be giving him steroids again! I went to parent teacher meetings trying to block out the events of home. I managed to do the same for Monday but by Tuesday both of my boys were sick! Poor haim.. He's still on the weak side.

The only thing that kept me sane during these three days was reading Anne of Green Gable Yultides that I downloaded from Rachel's live journal. I haven't read that book in years. It was so much fun! I pictured myself under a cover sipping hot chocolate back in my old bed in Westbeth.

I was trying to not loose patience but by the third day I could feel myself loosing it. The Yultide thing was just what I needed. When Ivry took an unexpected morning nap, I pounded away at my teaching essay for this MATESOL online program I'm applying for. The plan is to take a sabbatical unless I hear of anything else. I desperately need to recharge my batteries. The specialization in writing and publishing for ESOL fields is just what I am looking for. I could fare very well just teaching adults or just teaching myself how to teach...What's really amazing it that I would be returning to learn at a summer intensive program (if I wanted to finish in one year) in my hometown of Greenwich Village. Now talk about coincidence...I prefer the online bit due to the flexibility. It's the first TESOL of its kind anywhere. Very innovative. I certainly wouldn't be doing creative writing but, I would be able to juice up my knowledge and expand my horizons.

After taking a day off from school taking care of my boys (Haim coincidentally got sick on Ivry's third day being at home) I needed to write. I like Rachel's live journal format and I'm keen about starting one. I keep saying that to myself and it is time to try something new.

I've put my nano writing not exactly on hold but I felt I needed fresh new eyes in order to see where it is I am going with it. My goal is to rewrite it again (1 page a day) and I neded a larger interrim than I initially thought. so I'm back with that.

Now Ivry's back in the babyhouse. His caretakers missed him so much and he shouted with glee. He really feels at home there.

It's really a blessing that I have this writing to keep me. I don't know what I would do without it.

We've Gone Digital! Ivry's Second Birthday!

2007-01-05T15:30:00.000+02:00

Let the bells ring! We've finally gone digital. It wasn't an awkward decision to make and much less calculated than usual ones. Haim and I simply looked at each other and said, "Why not?" When I realized how fantastic a digital camera is, I realized that I would combine the best of both worlds with this little redhead's smile and a chocolate face. The only drawback is the waiting time between frames.

"Yom Huledet" to Ivry who is already, believe or not, two years old.

There's a lot to be said for celebrating a birthday in two very different countries. I sometimes have to remember that Israelis seem to understand more English than I think they do or at least, they feel more comfortable using it than I give them credit for given that English has gotten more global. And today, Eti, Ivry's caretaker said to him , "Give me a kiss, Happy Birthday." I wish that moment went digital then...

The party ended off with a chocolaty smile, Ivry's little hands picking at the thick chocolate that oozed underneath (unfortunately, the cake turned into a thick souffle - undercooked, don't know why) and a lot of memories.

The here and now of Israel 2007 is a giant pad of paper full of happenings and memories. there is a different pad - American style one that seems to have forgotten how I celebrated birthdays - one year at the McDonald place, another year a clown visited me. The simplicity of living on a kibbutz is that everything is utterly familiar and cozy and rural, contrasted to the geographical time and place of Manhattan, Greenwich Village , USA. Here, I bike to the babyhouse and in two minutes I'm singing "Yom Huledet" with chocolate all over my face. Other mothers saw the signs I bought of the Happy Birthday in English and the other cards, and Mazal Tovs were said all over again.

Of course, there's nothing like family celebrating a toddler's two year old birthday. So tomorrow we're going to Haifa for the day after Haim finishes his rigorous night shift. I daresay he'll take some of that chocolate moouse!

Memoir Part 1

2006-12-29T16:52:00.000+02:00

I've decided to start a memoir. This will be another project. Underway is the nano novel that I am not working on systematically (still taking my time) and writing an article to Garden and Hearth and contributing to my weekly column at suite 101. As you can see, I'm quite busy. As most of my works, this is a work in progress. I will continue to add.

I Only Wanted to Join the Army

Friday , December 29.2006
The momentum of a Friday. After five busy and hard days teaching junor and High school students, I felt I just couldn’t check any more student papers today. The floor of my kibbutz home is on ground level with the earth of our new garden and meters away from the bulldozers furrowing up new land, new dirt for the new communities.

Instead, I speak a casual few words to my words as he heads out holding a bisquit in one hand and a banana in the other. Luckily for me both food items are cognates and I don’t need to think so hard.

He waves and says ‘bye-bye’ and I am facing the computer screen typical of every Friday images of the Sasson household. The ninth grade homework check for the week lays aside when I indulgently decide that I will continue writing but will stop until Ivry returns from the babyhouse.

Friday morning on Kibbutz Sde Nehemiya washes the week off and the drama of the EFL classroom. In another few hours, I will light the Shabbat candles, give thanks and blessing for the New Year and its tidings and say hello to 2007 in new teacher/writer shoes.

Friday the day for intermittent thoughts before grabbing the laundry, freshening the overheated house from last night’s cold spell, rush to order the house before Shabbat comes. And oh I’ve almost forgotten the carrot cake I was supposed to make, the strips fall just as quickly as I can count to three in Hebrew.

When I finally throw the cake in the oven and tidy up my papers, it has come to me. Time for my bath. I take Frank McCourt’s Teacher Man that I borrowed from the elderly couple who live just a few meters away from me. What? You’re going to read something about school in the few minutes you have left before little Ivry wakes up? In a bath of suddy warm water? Where’s your sanity? What happened to your sense of self?

It’s okay I think. I can handle it. After all, I can handle many things especially that involve adjusting to a new society, a new set of customs, language. My own intuition says that it was my father and the fact that I have family here and knew Hebrew and grew up in Jewish movements and attended a private Yeshiva until age ten that was all part of the package deal.

But there are other issues that would go unexplored until I decided to enter the EFL classroom. In front of a computer I can have my self back and drop the teacher front. (I have until Sunday to mark all those papers, don’t I) In teacher language, you have to stay on the ball but once I figure I step out of teacher identity I realize that my English did come from somewhere and I wasn’t just ‘born’ to teach High School students in Israel EFL.

EFL teachers in Israel are like one little community. A kibbutz is another conglommorate of a community and although is privatized, is still is a community. Tzahal, yet another community of soldiers. But before I joined these little niches of communities, I had to learn the culture and language of these communities. Israelis ask me why I continue to live here and I don’t want to feel too special. All I want is to speak English with my family and write in English. And it all depends on who is doing the asking. Funny but if it asked in English, I will remember uncoincidentally, why my poor mother transferred me to a Junior High school after studying at a yeshiva for six years, in run down Chelsea where I would get beat up at least once a month.

That was the biggest mistake she could have ever made as a mother.

But then after reading Frank McCourt’s Teacher Man in the warm bath, I realize that I have yet to materialize the fact that I have been living in coincentric circles for the last sixteen years, half of my life.

And this has brought me to writing this memoir.

Truthfully, I never thought I would stay in Israel this long.

What started as a simple plan to go to Israel and join the army, turned out to be a trade off for a quick and materialistic lifestyle, that bewildered and confounded me. I can’t understand how it came to be that suddenly I have my own garden. I see the sunsets and hear the birds. Where did all the sunsets and birds go??

New Year's Resolutions

2006-12-22T13:12:00.000+02:00

I should be slowing down the pace of the week, after all the last day of Chanukah is here. Ivry just came home with his little Chanuka hat on and a bag of chocolate coins in one hand and his sweet challah roll in the other that they made in the gan. As quickly as he dashed into the kitchen, Haim scooped him up and settled him down for his Friday nap. As of this minute, he is still awake but tired. "Dorit, you should do the same" he said hinting that I should get some zz's since tomorrow we are going to going to be getting our car serviced and Saturday, our usual rest day will be occupied by yet more physical and mental movement.

After all, next week school starts up again, with a pace and a force of life that I have slowly grown to accept over the years. The holidays gave just a bit of time to figure out the theme of the 'light' - just a bit of time to embrace my small brood in the quiet pace of living that ultimately, I never get to feel during a teaching week. But now, I feel something has opened up. I am again at the starting point for this blog - words beginning anew. Of late, this is the agenda for nano editing that I am concentrating on the small skeletal outline for what has been just another file during the month of November, but that has yet to change:-)

I guess I don't have any New Year's Resolutions. I'm sure I'll make a few out faultlessly only to find that they weren't really what I wanted. I've learned to be flexible however as with all walking part of life.

So here goes yet another Friday afternoon figuring out what to do with the second rewrite, another one of life's processes.

Anybody else with a 'tale' of a New Year resolution?

Writing from Home

2006-12-21T08:28:00.000+02:00

This week is Chanukah and instead of lugging my heavy schoolbag out into the cold enroute to school, I am sitting at the computer for a few hours rewriting and editing and sending off things I've managed to write this past week.

It's been an interesting fun week.

The morning hours are my best times of time to get a good writing haul in.
It's a nice feeling not to be rushed, to start the day much more slowly, to eat a hearty breakfast, and of course to spend more time with Ivry, with whom the bulb of writing inspiration happens, and ah, the home becomes quiet again with just me and Haim until the happy baby comes back at 4pm.

Ah, the the life of a writer.

I say 'ah' because I am enjoying the process side of writing, important for every writer starting out. I don't yet want to make the career switch to write solely for money because I fear that I won't be fulfilled enough. But in my heart, I feel that this is what I see myself doing over time. Actually, I woke up this morning seeing myself writing novels and books. So I guess I will have to continue to work hard to make this dream happen.

But don't get me wrong dear friends and readers. Writing is really not only about writing. Good writers always read. I've had a sentiment with regard to all the books I have looking at staffed on my light table, so I started reading The Pickup by Nadine Gordimer, wonderful stuff, which makes me want to get back into the writing groove again, so here I go to another day of words!

Allowing Yourself to Be

2006-12-20T16:39:00.000+02:00

Do you have an opportunity to do absolutely nothing?

How often do you listen to your body's rhythms?

I decided that this is what I would do during our weekend at Kibbutz Nachsholim. I woke up hearing the sea from morning till night. Haim and I watched the sea roll over rocks. We were alone, no baby to entertain , no food to prepare no laundry to fold, no school work , papers or telephone calls. Just us and the sea. The result was a pad of paper filled with empowered yet random thoughts. Here is what my pen produced:

Writing is like dough rising. If you don't allocate enough time, it won't be a superb challah....

...I woke up this morning with the next story line swimming over in my head. I waited however until 11 o'clock to start writing it out. I had enough knowledge of craft to start writing...If I were more determined I would have written it down...

This incident reminds me of Pat Schneider's wonderful book Writing Alone and with Others. I don't rememember the chapter but on her writing retreats when she starts her writing projects, she doesn't start writing until the third or fourth day. She sleeps, takes a walk and then the words flow, like the waves.

I have always controlled my space, my words. I'm learning to let be and then slowly, the words will come.

photo credits to FreeFoto.com

Happy Chanukah Everyone! Merry Christmas to all!

2006-12-14T08:12:00.000+02:00

Last night, Ivry and I lit the first virtual Chanukah light together through this really cute website I found through my teaching and we listened to a short animated movie of Chanukah (an adaptation from ("Twas the night before Christmas"). We won't be lighting the menorah together on the first two days of Chanukah since Haim and I are taking this weekend off to stay at a hotel near the sea and leaving Ivry with his grandparents for the first time. This is the kick off weekend I just need to start my Chanukah vacation from school, the second break - very much needed rest I might add. This last teaching period was particularly strenuous for a number of reasons. I started a Holocaust reading project with my twelfth grade class with Elie Weisel's Night. I tried to combine teaching and writing with nanowrimo.org and succeeded in writing a full length novel that has yet to be edited but ended in a headfall at school and I stayed at home for two days. Then, there was the new computer program called "mashov" at our school (short for feedback) and that took some getting used to and now the grades. Lots of new things yet, lots of things to be utterly grateful for.

This brings me to the theme of light since Chanukah is the Festival of Lights. I contemplate on how can we bring more light to our lives and each one as an individual? We are still living in incredible darkness, with many troubles and problems burdening the world and our lives. This was the question that my spiritual teacher Avital brought up. She herself studied with Yemima Avital, the legendary teacher whose 'scrolls' come from the school of independent thinking that Yemima Avital started back in 1977 in Israel. Once a week for two hours, I look inward past the lesson plans and the kitchen, playroom and computer for the more pressing issues that burden my soul (sorry about being trite) and hope to find the answers and/or continue to ask the question(s) as the week progresses. When I am not doing homework for the workshop, I am looking at the site both in its Hebrew and English versions. (The Hebrew one is more local oriented)Take a closer look at what this wonderful woman offered us - the gift of independent thinking.

At Chanukah, we light eight candles for eight day miracle. I'd like to open up this story of Chanukah to all and ask you (as well as myself) how to incorporate more acts of 'light' to our glowing worlds. After all, I am on the right start. I/we just need to maximize all what I/we do.

Lastly, I also took the opportunity send a gratefulness ecard to family and friends in the USA from Israel. It's good to have support even when times are trying even if the sentiment is only virtual. After all, it is the best that I can do. I'm grateful for what I have become today. I can only hope that I will develop more foresight to apply myself to my writing, my family and my work in ways that I haven't done before.

Life is truly a journey.

Happy Chanukah and to all, Merry Christmas and a fruitful New Year.

Learning to Write on the Spur of the Moment - with Noise too!

2006-12-09T08:31:00.000+02:00

Ever since Ivry was born I have been writing more and more. Watching Ivry open a book immediately gets me thinking and observing. While the way he turns those pages and communicates about what he sees is definitely an article turner, my mind starts up with a memory trailer offering memories in turn for words - ah. If only I had them ready. I need a quick cup of coffee and wash my face, but sometimes Ivry and mommyhood get me writing on the spur of the moment.

I guess for mothers the spur of the moment issue is learning how to be efficient with time. Haim is always there to help me and I have a relatively decent schedule at school. But writing is not a pre-planned scenario. Ideas can fall from a hat from any direction at any time.

Take last night for instance. Friday night. He was fast asleep, the moon was pearly white and the wind was still. Perfect Van Gough scene. It was just me and Ivry. Suddenly my mind raced from different ideas for topics about motherhood then writing and motherhood, titles came forth then other titles came - like the tide rolling in - back and forth, back and forth. The secretary in my brain was at work filling topics in different categories. I, enchanted by the entire scene, decided it was time for paper and pen and bringing those, I wrote the rest what the lazy secretary didn't do. I hadn't hoped after all this, I would have a long lasting idea.

Mommy frenzy is more like how to squeeze in more writing time. I'm not used to squeezing a half hour in the morning before work. I like to take my time knowing that I don't have to rush to go anywhere. That makes the writing time at the computer much more meaningful.

I would like to think that all this writing on the psur of the moment business is really meaningful, will go somewhere, will take direction, will capture flow. This is where a lot of the best ideas come with a potential sack of words to follow.

I used to be very discrete about writing too - only alone, without music, without distraction. Now I've learned how to do it almost at any situation, any time of day and almost anywhere except for indoor stadiums and basketball courts. That I can't stand!

So do have these writing on the spur of the moment glitters? Have they developed into anything? I'd love to hear.

Check out my blog and articles on suite 101.

An opportunity for Freelance Writers

2006-12-08T10:34:00.000+02:00

There are so many freelancing opportunities out there on the web. For someone like me who is eager and determined to see her work published, it often takes time to get to know which publications are right.

Through a supportive writer's group, I discovered suite 101. It is a neat place to get myself started writing about a subject that I feel very knowledgeable about - new teacher support. If you're someone like me, who is passionate about a subject and can write on a subject clearly and is willing to work hard to write interesting articles, I highly encourage you to check out suite 101 and see if you can write for them.

I believe online writing will only get bigger and there are many opportunities for growth. But it is important to start somewhere and I found suite 101 to be user friendly to use and navigate (I'm learning the technical ropes) with lots of helpful people. I'm assigned to an editor who checks my work and offers feedback and support. I'm learning important terms for online writing. I'm learning how the web work in terms of ranking topics and through it all, I'm actually paying more attention to the way I use language especially key words. (And here I am writing about what I teach in the classroom.. oh well, guess I can't get away from that!)

There is also a lot of trash on the web and one does need to be choosy. I like the format and operation of suite 101 - everything is under one roof and you decide how much you want to expand and grow. And since I don't have lots of time to waste, this seemed to be the best option as I can also draw from my own experience.

Suite 101 works with page clicks unlike many other sites that I have seen which work with ad clicks. Obviously you have to write clear and interesting articles in order to get a lot of traffic going. Over a long period of time this can translate into dollars and cents.

I quickly put myself to work getting to know how to use keywords in titles and subtitles and articles and blogs. And what is great is that I can draw on the twelve years of experience that I have in the field.

Before I go back and revise my nano novel, I need to start another project that involves lots of interactive training. Here, I am learning the tools for writing for the Internet and I'm finding it to be quite suitable now for my writing needs.

Has anyone recently started writing for the web? How else have you branched out?

A Publishing Opportunity!

2006-12-02T12:55:00.000+02:00

While there is much talk about POD (print on demand) publishers and how reputable they are, not to mention the scams, I am striving for taking advantage of a great opportunity that lulu.com has given Nano finalists. A no-strings attached published book, but only if I submit a finished manuscript (edited obviously) by January 17. 2007. Not too far away.

What an opportunity! This just set my dreams on fire. I can see the dream glowing like a flame. It's time to find the courage to make those dreams come true. Enough talk!

If I decide to go for it, I will have a lot of work ahead. Knowing myself, I might take my time and let the first draft sit on a shelf, but I want to start editing soon.

It has always been my dream to see my work in print.
Wish me luck! Is there anyone out there who is ambitious like me?

Establishing a Writer's Group

2006-11-30T08:44:00.000+02:00

Now that post nano is almost in sight, I have collected some of my own exercises that have helped me deal with the infamous stunts of writer's fatigue. (I refuse to call it writer's block. There is no such thing!)

Over the span of this month, I have asked myself some questions about the characters and the plot. for me, the most compelling part of writing this novel was to learn how to write fiction without lifting the characters off. I've chosen a topic that is very persnal to me but I wanted to write fiction , not creative nonfiction. I believe that all writers borrow from real life but some writers work in more creative modes that allow them to separate the pain from the imagery. One way to consistently create characters with vices and virtues is to learn how to tap into that creative side of our brains and I'm not necessarily talking right now about doing something else so that the creative side is released.

For example, I'm using my mother's personality as a major character for my nano novel. I'm at a stumbling point. Some of the things that worked for me to move on were:

Imagining her sitting next to me (I wish!) Using something that she has always hated in order to create a more visual context. what works most best here? Dialogue? Description? Setting? And take it from there.

I want to share all these ideas with a writer's group. I have written to the writer's group looking for one. Due to time and space, the only thing that best fits (at least for me) is an online writer's group which can be practical and rewarding contrary to how impersonal people tend to think they are. So far, there has been only one interest. The purpose of this group would be to share ideas, get feedback and help in order to move on to the next level. It is crucial in my purpose for continued growth and maturity as a writer. I think we are all brave for writing and we do not need to be solitary about our writing habits once we feel we have said what we wanted to say. I can always send my poems, short stories novel to friends but I wanted one that would be ongoing and formal.

Are there any interested souls like me who are interested in being part of this group? Please send your email in the comment box and I will get back to you.

Happy Writing to Everybody.
Friday is tomorrow. And November 30th is today. Just a few reminders to anyone who is feeling exhausted, like me. Yea!

I'm a Winner of NaNoWriMo!

2006-11-27T18:13:00.000+02:00

This has been a moment for me!

I am a winner of nanowrimo! I have reached my 50,000 word mark (actually 50,224 and still going strong) and the feeling is exhilirating. I have now joined 2400 other writers who have finished as well.

When Ivry was eating, I worked on the computer when Ivry was playing with his daddy, I worked on the computer and when Ivry was sleeping, I worked on the computer. When I finished checking Bagrut papers, literature essays and marking classwork, I tried to collect enough brain cells to write another two or three paragraphs for my novel. Teachers thought I was wonderfully crazy and asked how do I have time with a little one at home but I said, "I Make the Time!" Plus, Haim is the most caring, supportive and understanding partner. So, when this novel finally gets accepted, I will make sure that I will dedicate the novel to him.

I wrote until late - never taking one day off. I 've created a world of characters that I can truly call my own. I've learned what plot is all about - how it becomes an edifying experience if it is written well, and how it can quickly become dull if one doesn't take enough risks to explore something new.

A novel cannot get finished on its own. That's the greateness of nanowrimo's site in helping aspiring writers finish (!) a project. I've never thought I'd get this far. Although I have a few more chapters to go, the real work as any real and serious writer knows, comes for months after, when the editing doctor comes for a long and lengthy visit. But at least, I got this story that has been inside of me finally OUT! Yea!!!

I won't forget the moment when I snubbed at the idea of signing on to this website, but quickly I realized that this would be the only opportunity for me to write a novel. There would be no other opportunity. This was an amazing initiative on Chris Baty's part who understood what beginning writers need in order to see a first draft to its fruition. It's ALL about support, helping each other, giving tips on plot doctoring which I ironically didn't take and writing out daily word counts and having my fellow writers hurrah me all along the way even if I only wrote two or three sentences.

It has been a test of my own indefatigable nature. I realize that the writer soul has always been in me and I just needed a website like this to help get it out. So thank you Israel team for making this such a memorable first time experience. and thank you Chris Baty for giving me the opportunity to making something out of myself.

Watch me. I'm Kvelling!

2006-11-26T19:53:00.000+02:00

I'm "kvelling" as you can see in the picture. This picture describes exactly how I feel. I entered the teacher's room today after a few days of being on sick leave, only to find a letter in my box from an educational publication thanking me about an article on peer editing that I sent a month ago. I can really crow about this ...I felt the blood instantly surge. The glory of seeing my article in a future publication made me want to shout to the world: "I did it!!!" Being the verbal person that I am, I shared it with my colleagues and later with my twelfth grade Bagrut class who gave me the idea of the article in the first place. I'm sure that that made them feel good!

I have been working hard (very hard) on my writing, getting a clip file ready in a very short time with articles, pieces and short stories to send out. It hasn't been easy with the ongoing pressures from school. Thankful that I have such a supportive hubbie otherwise all this and I mean all this, would not be possible!

I'm giving myself permision to 'kvell' (a great Yiddish word) about my hard work and determination on my desire to continue to send articles and ideas and short stories.

It's not easy day in and day out to maintain a writing career after work hours but, I don't want my future to be only in a classroom, and this is where I can open a second career choice while still supporting my family until I know exactly what I want to do.

So, what do you (or would really like to) kvell about? Kvelling about others' accomplishments is important too.

If you don't, you should. You're missing opportunities to nurture and appreciate yourself and others. Plus, you're worth it.

Another Golden treasure

2006-11-25T12:04:00.000+02:00

Ivry and I went the back way past the waterfalls. We found some hidden treasures - a newly paved road that went into the wilderness and past some very scenic spots. For a moment, I thought I was in New England. There were marshes, grasslands, apple orchards - all for us! The newly turned bluish golden sky was just the perfect weather for a bike ride on a mid Saturday morning. The road, though slightly unpaved, was another great terrain for the imagination. We could be back in New England, gypsy storytellers trying to find listeners, discoverers on a trail looking for gold.

But those apples were gold. The Jordan river going southward was has its own green of upcoming Christmas joy - green and red streamers all along the route. Just minutes before, we were sitting in the kiwi orchards munching on tangerines and I was trying to wipe off Ivry's dirty face with a wipe.

A

few bikers from the kibbutz passed us but again we were along on the road again. We continued until the road ended, singing and making up songs from well known Hebrew melodies for kids. We had a grand time - and every time Ivry looked up at me and said, 'od pa'am! - again!" And we sang as high as our lungs could sing but we didn't care. It was just us and Mother Nature. Beautiful Mother Nature.

This is the nature that sings in my veins. The nature that I never had growing up in a urban pit of enormous sized buildings that screamed industrialism and commericialism. The sultry sun that faked a sunset in industrial mist and suburban haze. When I was a kibbutz renter back in 2001 before I met my hubbie, I couldn't believe that for the money I was paying the kibbutz, I was getting all this incredible sight for free. It hardly seemed possible. I remember going to the back waterfall and falling in love as lovers do and crying that night because I was taken by the waterfall's beauty.

Today, I discovered another treasure. I felt high and giddy. I felt like a two year old, discovering the world for the first time. And all through it, my hubbie snores his night shift away.

Sweet Dreams hubbie!

Will post pictures of that morning soon....

45,000 Words and Counting!

2006-11-24T12:16:00.000+02:00

All my life I thought that the writers who got published were better than me. I often saw their names as larger than life.

I am slowly realizing that I have got a story too and with careful application of the knowledge of craft, this book has the power to be on a shelf of any bookstore.

This baby, like a fetus in a mother's womb, is slowly acquiring, head, feet, organs, fingernails, toes, hairs, face and then finally a personality ~ the glowing warmth of a book.

I call it the power of words - womb words. The knowledge of craft will ultimately however, see it all through and one day, just one sweet glorious day, I will see the work of one soul apear somewhere . I will.

In the meantime, I am enjoying the creative process and not the grit of some publishing act to take rather quickly on faith. for a change, it's nice to go back to the stepping stones of my path only to choose certain images and events. these images once powerful and sometimes painful have now become fictional in nature - I have surged inthem a new creative flavor that can be interpreted from any angle.

Yes, you all know who you are - the artists, the neighbors, the founding family of my faith, even the tabby cat from the neighbor's next door. All of you have a profund role in the shaping of this book.

As I have already written on the regional nano forum for Israel that the business of a writer, especially an aspiring fictional writer like me is to write, and write and write and eventually I will get to the plot. But that is what the first draft is all about - to reach the plot. Even ifwe are good plot doctors of our own accord, we still need a forum to share our worries and woes - if not necessarily, that virtual pot of coffee.

So with that, I'm taking a much needed break - off to visit friends, and family in Nazareth. The end is cooly in sight. The hard work of a writer, a never ending grind of toil and labor.

Only 6,000 words to go! Thank you nanowrimo!

I Give thanks for Being a Mom!

2006-11-24T07:37:00.000+02:00

If there is anything that I am giving thanks for this Thanksgiving, it's being a mom. I've been so busy lately trying to keep abreast of my nanowriting, I've put my mommy role on the back burner. This Thanksgiving, again celebrated virtually, I'll be thanking G-d for my little Ivry and like every day, I'll be telling him how proud I am to be his mommy.

Monday's Meditation. Let's Get Real!

2006-11-20T07:26:00.000+02:00

I took a few minutes out during this busy Monday morning to meditate. Usually I start the Sunday with a groan . It usually is a lazy groan coupled with "why do I have to get out of my warm bed? Why do I need to face another day of work?" which I'm sure most of you are very familiar with.

I must say that I started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, which for me personally, gives me the affirmation that I have always been searching for that I can change parts of my life. It actually started with a neck cramp that I couldn't shake loose yesterday in the classroom. I tried exercising, stretching, putting hot oils, hot showers, creams, ointments, anything that I could do within the confines of time. But then I remembered that this frequent muscle tension I experience is also connected to the body's rhythms. When my mind starts focusing situations that are really intense, (especially when it comes to school) a lot of negative build up is produced and I feel the muscle spasms and pain in greater intensity.

I have never been accustomed to incorporating meditation as a part of my working schedule. All it took was three deep breaths, focusing my breaths on the here and now. It put me into the zone where I needed to be (the basis for change) and now I feel a bit better. I was giving my body the attention it needed so that I could go on.

I know that what I have "discovered" this Monday morning is not new. We all fall prey to the symptoms of modern life in one way or another or more. there are so much being discussed and talked about in terms of healing, yoga, reike, energy centers and channels, shiatsu, meditation and more.

Personally, I have always been 'involved' with the concept of healing but only from the point when I felt the energy entrappment and not as a working karma.

It's time to get practical! Get real?

So after this mini-experience, these are now my three goals for the day.

1. meditate in the morning or when ever I can.

2. spend time with Ivry after school

3. try to write at least 1,666 words for nano. (Only 10 more days left!)

Notice that I didn't say anything about school! Yea!!

Happy Monday!

Be Persistant! Don't Give up on Your Dreams!

2006-11-18T22:11:00.000+02:00

All day today I seriously debated whether to sign up for a publishing workshop that will take place in Jerusalem next month. Of course I could think of a million and one reasons why not to sign up mainly due to time and distance. I am practical. It is expensive but it could give me the knowledge that I need to step ahead and make something out of this little rendevouz that I have had with my writing lately. At one point in the future, I will have a finished draft of this nano novel and I won't give up on my dream of one day seeing it published. I see great potential in it and it is the story that has been inside of me for a long time. And now that I have the knowledge of craft, I am giving it the form that it needs.

It has always been my dream to see my work in print - no matter what.

But publishing as we all know is more than just a dream. It's also all about strategy and knowledge especially in the publishing world. (did I forget contacts and a lot of luck?)

I am slowly evolving into a writer. I am slowly finding my own voice. And believe me, it's a beautiful voice !

I tirelessly write every day despite my busy teaching schedule with its rigorous demands and strenuous ups and downs. I MAKE time for the writing. And when I write, there is magic, something so wonderfully and inexplicable. I finally can do this. I can write fiction!

I wonder if my mother felt the same way when she gave concerts. But what I do know is this: She was the epitome of persistance. I won't ever forget how she practiced day in and day out. She worked like a dog interpreting all those sonatas and concertos and mazurkas. She tirelessly worked into the night and it was those sonatas, concertos and mazurkas that eventually lulled me to sleep.

And she has been the prime example and motto for everything that I have attempted and succeeded in my life and I hope this messge will pass down to Ivry.

Breaking a Routine

2006-11-17T08:34:00.000+02:00

I am approaching the 30,000 word mark for my first time nano novel - much more than what I have anticipated. I am taking a little break and this has brought me to write this blog.

I went for a walk exiting the gate of my kibbutz past the new neighborhood or, the 'harhavot' as they call it here. There is a nice twenty minute walk that allows me to see the kibbutz - both old and new. On such a clear morning such as today, everything was in view from the Hermon mountain with its bluish crescent looking sky that gives the illusion that one is watching the Swiss Alps.

But of course, the kid in me wanted some space and I skipped a step when I heard the electrical bass and keyboard of U'2 "With or Without You". That last minute of the song is particularly fine. I love the harmony and it immediately set me off. I felt I was back on my banana seat bike riding down the West Side Highway looking at our artist residence block from the river view. The year was 1982.

Or how about when I had my first kiss with Ben on the third floor roof back at Westbeth. The album 'Thriller' was my romantic prelude as a twelve year old. We walked with red bandanas hanging out of our pockets. What could be more hip?

Nano is an exercise in visiting my memories growing up at Westbeth (see picture) and I examine them in a much more adult circle of life. But the music of growing up in Westbeth was thrilling like the MJ's 'Thriller'. Westbeth had its share of strange scenarios but I always found my niche in all of it. Twenty three years later, I am still that same child: I look for the essences of and parts of music that melts me, which triggers off an intense emotional reaction or sensation. I strive to write in the same vein but I have yet to get close to the part where my writing possesses its own harmony. Perhaps that is why I chose to write about my mother and her music but now, I think I just stumbled on a big piece of the puzzle, that can help my nano conflict move along.

Gotta go! Happy writing!

I Just Came for the Weather

2006-11-16T21:06:00.000+02:00

When was the last time you had a nice cup of something steamy hot watching the world from your patio or your quiet niche?

I frequently take breaks from my writing. I'm lucky to be surrounded by green all around. when I'm stuck with something, I go outside sometimes to the garden and sometimes through the back entrance where there is a nice white table waiting for me on the green. Now that the early mornings are frosty and sunset starts at 4:40 p.m., I usually bring something steamy hot and look either at my crystals hanging from the trees or the little garden inches away from my door.

I contemplate the patterns, colors, sizes, textures for a few minutes. And for some inexplicable reason, this helps me get back into the creative mode that my mind needs to be in order to progress. I cannot write eight hours in front of a computer working on any writing project, let alone my nano novel.

I especially love it when the air is not its usual nippy self. Today for instance, was so sunny and bright. I sat in the sun and lifted my head in an upward position just to get some light into my brain. Sometimes I think working on this nano is larger than life project than I had considered it to be in the first place.

In no time at all, the sun was setting, the moutains retained its purple and blue haze that came in one five minute misty mist and I was left again without words. Thank g-d for Mother Earth. She always knows how to give me healthy breaks.

Anybody else out there with similar stories like me? What are your writing habits? Can you work straight through a writing project for a few hours ?

Writing Alone? Who Has Time?

2006-11-13T17:07:00.000+02:00

Up until ten minutes ago, I had some quiet writing time. I was in the middle of writing my nano novel and I found for a change, the ideas flowing. It was a beautiful moment.

I resented it when I had to stop my thoughts because my son and his father came in bringing me to my present reality.

Writing is my only way to step out of my teaching shoes and reconnect with myself. Each day at school is loaded. Some days are easier than others. Now that the days end earlier, it is nice to see the storm clouds approaching. This quickly helps me to register that I am out of school limits and can unwind.

I head straight to the 'gan' where Ivry plays with ten other toddlers. He greets me with that darling smile that reminds me of the joy I didn't have before becoming a parent.

But I long to be alone in front of that computer screen and the time is very short lived - maybe about an hour.

I also cannot force myself to write after a certain hour and of course, this is the only real quiet time I have when the house is asleep.

Juggling motherhood and writing is not easy but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I realize that this is a juggling act for many women like me. So I try to do my best in order to get the writing in - ie. before I go to school, on the weekends, after work whenever possible.

I cannot write when I am surrounded by Ivry. I need to be completely and utterly alone. I need to work at home. If I am not alone, then I write from an unfocused state of mind.

Are there any other women like me? Am I the only one who works and /or feels like this?

http://www.mjvivigatz.com ( These graphics were taken from Melissa J. Vivigatz's website.)

What? Again on the "C"?

2006-11-10T21:38:00.000+02:00

This is where I played ball in the inner courtyard, called out to my mom where she was playing the piano hoping that she would hear my plea to throw down some more tennis balls so I could continue to play tennis in the outer courtyard. (second photo, further right hand corner)

Westbeth.

Today's my birthday. I'm thirty six years old today. I'm taking a break from my nano novel and I realize that what I am writing about comes from this place and just had to put order with all the memories. That got me nostalgic to see Westbeth but since I can't, I settled for the virtual option. I wish I could take Ivry to run around the "C" just as I did as illustrated in the picture. There is only one "C," but I found so many different things to do on it: I jumped from the end to the beginning, I skated on it, I biked in and around it on my banana bike.

On dull days, I just took my snoopy lunchbox and entertained myself with a picnic. I danced in the rain and watched the rain make uneven puddles in and around the "C". I watched my brother power kick for his black belt from the C. I prepared an animation show on film of Barbie dolls. I listened to Stephen Holst tell stories in the community room and looked back out at the "C" continuing to listen to his voice.

As a mother, I see the importance in stimulating and enriching a child's imagination. Westbeth was an amazing place for that. The physical landscape of the place and its surroundings were varied and three dimmensional. As a child, I was fascinated by the gallery that had wierd and odd looking shapes hung in them. Especially I was amazed by the endless places a child could hide when playing hide and seek - ie. in the creepy stairwells, inside the folds of a corridor, within the deep folds of a statue in the courtyard. There were many things about the place that I didn't understand so I tried to make sense through how and what I saw.

As a child, I was surrounded by so many different artists including my own parents. Ivry sees me write and read. But he doesn't see Westbeth. There is no real way for me to share with him the memories of what I saw, experienced, went through first as a child of artist parents and then as an artist. His first real memory is observing nature and watching the new community being dug up across from our kibbutz. He is fascinated with bulldozers and cliff hangers. He watches a rabbit hop on by and digs his fingers in the grass. Westbeth was an urban factory for elusive artists who wanted to find the 'truth' while creating. My childhood was a by-product of all of this. This is what I have come to understood today.

So at age 36, I am really not so far ahead. I would have liked to see myself just for today back at the "C" at Westbeth in order to just revisit childhood for the nth time, and for Ivry to know what is a "C".

Where Do You Get Your Inspiration to Write?

2006-11-09T06:41:00.000+02:00

This is a general question that has many answers. But for writers, inspiration is a hard thing to come by. I rely solely on sticking to a schedule. This helps me see a project through.

Working on my nano novel is not at all about inspiration. It is just about writing a lot every single day in order to meet a deadline, but the inspiration is the story that has been inside of me for a long time.

When I'm not writing, or taking a break from writing, sentences enter my mind or fragments of words as resulting of exploring memories of childhood. I suppose that is my inspiration.

Life is too dynamic to wait for inspiration; if I wait, nothing will happen. But suddenly I will get an idea for an article.

Take yesterday for instance. My twenty month old son knows already 12 letters of the English alphabet. After leaving the bath, we attached the soapy spongy letters on the ceramic tile. It was a breathtaking moment watching him say 'Mommy' when I showed him the 'M' and 'Nuriel'. He waited in anticipation for me to pop up the 't' and the 'b' and the 'z'. I am still proud of this moment. I know that it is a milestone for Ivry and I would hope to take it into a direction that would turn it into an article!

So I guess this is enough of inspiration for now. Gotta wake up Ivry.

How do you see inspiration? When and how does it work for your writing?

What Kind of Writer Are You?

2006-11-06T20:52:00.000+02:00

conquer your dreams!

Lately I've been thinking this kind of question as I gradually incorporate writing into my busy teaching life.

When I started teaching twelve years ago I was fresh out of teaching college. Then, I only wrote term papers and the occasional short story and poems. Many years later, when I finished my M.A. in English Literature, I took up writing poetry again, sent a few off and that was it.

For years, I considered myself merely just a person who felt confident enough with poetry and could hardly call myself a writer.
It is however, only within the last few months or so that I experiemented with other forms of writing. There comes a time in every writer's career when the challenges outweigh the doubts and confidence begins to seep in. Realizing that I had something important to say was the first step to taking an online fiction course with Gotham writers. (www.writingclasses.com)

Then came writing articles for educational publications about my work as an EFL teacher teaching Israeli youth. I found that there are so many places to share my ideas. I just have to find the right publications. A few more personal stories followed that I thought would be interesting enough to read about my decision to emigrate to Israel sixteen years ago and all that has incurred since then in terms of family, friends, career development not to mention the cultural and linguistic adjustment to a new and different life.

But it takes good steady practice to decide what kind of writing makes a good fit and trying is the only way to really know which genre best fits your writing voice.

I'm the kind of person that cannot be limited to any one genre. Of course, there are days when I feel more of a fiction writer than anything else which is why I'm determined to finish my nanowrimo novel (first novel) by the end of this month.

I have a fertile imagination and long list of ideas. I keep the ideas on a little pad and if I see that one of them is nudging me, then I know that it needs to be written!

So what choices have you made about your writing? Which genre(s) best suit(s) your voice? What kind of writer are you?