I have to admit: the laundry's waiting for folding and something tells me I'm about to physically collapse. But I continue to wake up at 4:00 am grabbing bites of bagels, Doritos (hey me) and funny tasting coffee just to bob around.
Reaching 11 am, I still think I have yet to make the grand hit on the pinball machine. But I'm progressing. While I have experience with fiction, I have yet to really sink my teeth in this ESL non-fiction book. I had a plan when I started - it's always changing. For the good? One can't tell, when your waking energies are grounded in the writing. I know though, that when I reach out for that coffee sip in my Walmart tumbler, I know I am coming closer to something, something that I have never come closer to before.
When I get a bit stuck, I learn to freewrite and sometimes that helps. Or I write out a step-by-step paragraph when there's even a bit of self-doubt lingering from last night's dinner conversation that I can't do this. Now I'm back to where I started from - writing about action research as part of the reflective mode of teaching and how it ultimately help with raising the reading levels of my at-risk students when I was teaching in Israel. Boring? Well, no. This is obviously chucked in for a Hollywooder approach - but I've got the patience schemata to find the right blend - me and theory - once enemies now we are growing fonder of each other - because I'm not leaning on it as a grudge as I did in my rolly-polly college days when there was oh, so much support for a writer, a teacher, and a teacher-to-be.
Now, totally exhausted, sometimes exasperated, controlled and controlling by what one calls the writing process, I am trying to stick through it. I am not one to give up, and yet every day, I awaken to the calling. There's no land around for miles, all I know there's a thick pot of coffee waiting for me(prepared by loving Hubbie)and a laptop that has been shut down for the night waiting to be turned on. Sound familiar??
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